Hi - I am age 44. I found out last Friday that I am menopausal. I am advised to have another blood test in a couple of weeks and then go in and talk about HRT and perhaps have some other blood tests.
I cannot stop worrying about there being an underlying cause (because Dr said very vaguely other tests and that it's not usual menopause but Ovarian Failure).
I think I am in shock and my brain is overwhelmed. I am trying to come to terms with my periods stopping and making sense of how awful I have felt for 2 years or maybe almost 3.
This new information feels like a piece of the puzzle that I needed to know before, to stop me spiralling into low confidence, self esteem issues and anxiety and sleep issues that I have never had that I couldn't somehow resolve.
I must add that I am prone to anxiety during times of change and have had quite a lot of unexpected surprises in my life and I feel like I am not coping with this news very well. My fear are running wild most of the time, other times I am philosphical and think, hey, it's ok, its natural and happens to everyone but........the order and unknowns have been very hard. My GP was not that great at explaining anything and it seems there is nothing to explain really - so why so many questions in my head?!
I don't have children, I wanted them, circumstances didn't come together - with this diagnosis it has sent me off wondering if I have something wrong with me in any case, infertility or an underlying disease (all the info on the internet mentions this happening sometimes with other things). All of this is futile as my periods have now stopped - ironically since the phone call diagnosis - before that they were every month albeit the last one ended with days of spotting and burning back ache and tightness (was that my ovaries shutting off
)
Anyway, you can probably tell that fear and anxiety are my main issues. Somehow my brain wants to understand why I didn't realise or expect this and what did I miss? I guess it's made me lose confidence in my own self care although that's irrational I guess.
My periods have always been on a shortish cycle 24/25 days and reduced a bit over the last couple of years, never heavy or light, just normal with hardly any PMT and occassional ovulation tweaks. I felt quite reassured by my cycles. The type of bleeding did seem different a couple of years ago and I read up on perimenopause and that seemed to fit with anovulatory cycles etc and I could expect shortening of cycles, then lengthening and then big gaps.
What has freaked me out the most is that last year almost a year to the day I started having skin reactions, redness, hotness and went to the GP - never having had skin issues. My face looked puffy and then sagging and lines appeared, hair intermittently falling out, intermittant dry eyes, funny crawling sensation on my face. None of these symptoms lasted long. Skin would go back to normal after a couple of months then it came back again. I mentioned all these things to GPs several times, told them my anxiety was really bad and not sleeping properly. I knew something wasn't right and started getting health anxiety thinking something ws really wrong - last September I went to the GP and out right said that I was worrying so much, I just didn't feel myself and could there be an underlying cause, thyroid, another disease etc that was 'progressing'. She said well, I don't want to test anything for now, no clear symptoms, it is stress and hormones.
Now, do I put all these things down to being menopausal, I guess I do and now I have to calm my mind down and undo all my worry which no doubt has made this experience worse. 'THIS IS MENOPAUSE '
I am rambling but I really don't have anyone to talk to and have been scouring the internet driving myself nuts. To top off all this emotional shock and turmoil, my mother died 7 years ago and can't ask her about all this and in any case I think she would have been fairly dismissive. I have an older sister living abroad with her husband and child, I have spoken to a couple of friends but generally feel very isolated. So it's good to write it out.
I had my thyroid tested at the same time as the FSH/LH and he told me that was in normal range - what other blood tests do you think they will do? He said I was on the cusp of 'normal' being near age 45 and when I said what other blood tests he said iron I think.
Since the phone call I have missed my first period, well, it was brown spotting
I have aching body, no energy and started night sweats!! Ironic that the symptoms have arrived now and not before - I am really scared and feel like I am falling apart right now - mainly as I don't know what symptoms might come next and how long for. Nothing I read matches my pattern - 'normal' menopause happens slowly and erraticly. I genuinely feel that the hormones have just disappeared and my whole self is adjusting.
Everything feels backwards and not helping my anxiety - I am much better in life if I know what I am dealing with. When he said he thinks I have entered menopause I sort of thought there wouldn't be anymore symptoms - so confused and feel so stupid.
Thanks for reading
I also want to add that I had put down all my struggles to not dealing with life very well and adrenal fatigue (I have been through quite a lot outside of this situation) but now I wonder if my hormones have caused problems for years and do not know the strategy to deal with this. Dr's dont recognise adrenal fatigue, maybe they call it ME - but I am now a little confused and am quite certain the NHS is not going to help me with the bigger picture. (sorry for the rant)
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Topic: Hello - new here. Shocked and scared quite frankly (Read 16469 times)