Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[honeybun]

I really hope so Bramble. I don't want mother to be in a care home but the time is coming and unless she improves...a lot.... then it's coming quickly.

Her dog is the problem, she is devoted to it and the homes won't take a dog too. Well there is one near me that will take respite patients with a dog. Might be worth exploring.


Oh this is just horrible.


Honeyb
X

[Limpy]

HB - It really can't be easy at all.
Perhaps worth contacting the place that will take respite patients with a dog would be a good idea?

You and your Sister will destroy yourselves if things continue like this for much longer 

[CLKD]

Your Mum may be scared too.  Losing control.  Losing her memories tied in with 'stuff' around the house.  Worried about her wee dog ……… have a look at the Cinnamon Trust web-site and see what they suggest, they sometimes have information about care homes which take pets.  Or they may have someone who can take care of the wee dog who will be able to take the dog visiting your Mum.  If I lived closer I would try ……..

It is more likely that the ABs are upsetting her gut  though when I tried Complan in my anorexic years I found it like drinking putty 

[bramble]

I could drink Complan. I drank it when I was that bad with anxiety I could not get food down me. I used to take a mug out to the greenhouse and sit there until I had finished it all. I've come a long way since then.
Bramble

[CLKD]

Well done.  It may taste better these days, I'm going back to the mid-1990s 

[Joyce]

I'd say the ABs too as when I had pneumonia I was on so many my gut rebelled.  However, your mum could take some stuff from home if she went into care home. We took furniture, albeit small pieces, from FILs home to make it more homely for him.  He had no option as we lived 3 hours away.

[honeybun]

She won't move out of her home. It's just not an option but hopefully with help we can keep her at home but we are going to need more help.

Don't worry about the dog CLKD, my sister will look after it. That's always been the plan. The dog is blind but is very familiar with my sisters house and garden.

I just hope my sister gets things in place really soon.


Honeyb
X

[Joyce]

Hubby's Aunt ended up with lots of home care, despite her eldest son being just around the corner. I think the feeling is to try & keep them at home for as long as is possible. But if they end up needing 24 hour care its a different matter. Hope you find something which you can all be happy with HB. It can't be easy.

[purplenanny]

Yes, it is horrible HB and not easy for any of you. Maybe try for the exra care at home first, time for thinking about a home later. Lets hope BIL will convince your sister.

My eldest sister cared for our dear aunt (our Mums twin) and it was a very difficult day when she had to go into a home. We all cried buckets. She was such a special sweet lady but it had become impossible for my sister to manage her at home

We found a lovely place (after looking at loads) about 10 mins walk from me , so we were able to visit her very often and take her out and about. We bought an old mobility car so her wheelchair could go in the back and even managed to take her to the Isle of Wight to see her daughter a couple of times. She loved me taking her to the bluebell woods in spring.

Your time with your Mum will be so much better if you can have extra 'care' help.  PN x x

[CLKD]

Sadly it might become an option although you live North of the Border 

M in L was adamant she was never going into a home but we were unable to assist and she didn't qualify for home care that would keep her safe.  In the 'home' they have hoists, 2 people, 24/7 care - hopefully.  She gave up the will to live so wasn't there for long.

Any advance on the situation?

[honeybun]

Just the same this morning unfortunately. Getting a bit nasty now too. I am getting ready to go and see her and sort lunch and pills. I was told its hardly worth my while as I'm only going for an hour.
I have my own things to do so that's all she is getting for today. I have missed two days in the past ten so I'm hardly being neglectful.

I wish she was nicer and then it would be easier. Ill or not she just makes me want to strangle her.

Hey ho off on yet another 25 mile round trip.


Honeyb
x

[purplenanny]

Hi HB
I would have to say, "shall I not bother then, if an hour isn't enough"  I must say your Mum does sound very demanding, you have the patience of a saint!

Might be worth having another chat with BIL ? keep the subject hot!

  PN x x

[grumpy2008]

My heart goes out to you, honeybun. It's a very difficult situation, and in my experience the emotional concerns often get in the way of the practical ones. I have also had to develop a harder heart when it comes to dealing with my father (still independent, but not for much longer if I have my way). It's very distressing for everyone but you do need to take care of YOU.

I would push for outside help if it were me... although I realise it's not easy. As for care homes, they vary quite a lot. I've looked around a few and found one I'd be happy for dad to live in. Have you looked around, just in case that becomes necessary?

 

[CLKD]

"Are you going to be nice to me during my hour or shall I leave now?" ….. she is probably weary, worried but that doesn't excuse rudeness.  Tell her that you would feel happier if she were to drop the nasty habit of being a moaner and look at the situation from yours - i.e. the long journey each time and the various weathers you have to face.  Also 'none of us are getting any younger  ' springs to mind    Ask her if she realises how nasty she is? my Mother wouldn't believe it if I told her how she was close to hitting me on Boxing Day 'I wouldn't do that to you Dear' …….. 

Hope you get there and back OK!

[honeybun]

Sister has called social services   

Mother is going mad about it already and she doesn't even know the call has been made. She says she will employ someone privately.....don't think so she doesn't have that kind of money.
She also said she would rather crawl on her hands and knees.....not that she is exaggerating 

What a carry on. She says the house is to be sold to pay for full time care....in the house....doesn't work that way.

Did not rise to the many comments that were made and just reminded myself she is unwell.
My tongue was sore from biting it.


Honeyb
X