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[Limpy]

YAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY

Glad to hear it Honeyb.

How come you Mother is upset about it already if she doesn't know the call has been made?
Perhaps she does appreciate how difficult it is for you and you sis.

[CLKD]

However - there are schemes where the house can be sold and the owner lives in it.  I believe that AgeUK has a scheme?  Maybe a chat with a Private Financial Advisor would help? not one associated with a Bank.

Maybe your sister made the call from your Mum's house   

[Joyce]

At least things are moving in the right direction HB. Your mum does sound a bit confused. Maybe she meant releasing equity from the house to pay for care. However, she shouldn't need that as plenty help is available out there.  Social services will set up an appropriate care plan for her. OK she maybe won't like it, but needs must for your sanity. They are used to caring for elderly patients and will no doubt have had many an awkward one along the way.

[honeybun]

Care has now been arranged. Upped from two to three visits a day. Someone will now come at dinner time and close up the house and heat up her evening meal. She still doesn't know, she was just complaining at the possibility of it happening. It starts on Monday.....heaven help sis as mother will have the screaming ab dabs.


Honeyb
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[CLKD]

………..    am I allowed to laugh ………..     she'll survive once she realises it ain't going to change 

[Hurdity]

Thats good news honeybun - so less pressure on you and your sister, and she will be in good hands.

Hurdity x

[purplenanny]

Great news HB and well done sister for getting on with it (finally )

I am not excusing her bad behaviour and treatment of you, but I think it must be quite scary to become old and having to rely on people for help. She will get used to it, I am sure

Your hubby must be pleased

PN x x

[grumpy2008]

Sounds like a very positive step, honeybun! I'm sure it's hard for your mum, having people going in and out, but like others have said she will get used to the new routine.

My dad only copes because of his routine, which was established when his health was better... any changes throw him completely now and new routines are very difficult to put in place. So well done to you and your sister, I hope life gets a bit easier for you

[honeybun]

She hasn't accepted it but it's happening. Yes it must be scary but in my mothers head her two daughters should just see to her and do nothing else. Perhaps it's a generational thing and the expectation of what your kids owe you as you get older. Perhaps it's because of the way she has been very spoiled...who knows but even the thought of saving either of her daughters never crosses her mind...not even for a second.
Mind you we seem to be undergoing a rather remarkable recovery. We have gone from being a poor soul this morning to being....her words...50% better tonight.
The very cynical part of me says we have been played for the last few days. No doubt at all that she was very unwell last week but as she realises she is pushing things a bit far a recovery is underway.
Perhaps or perhaps not. Hubby thinks this is the case but he got mothers measure a good few years ago and fully knows what she is capable of ....and I have to say when it comes to mother he is rarely wrong. He does not have the emotional attachment so sees things a bit clearer than I do.


Honeyb
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[bramble]

Glad to hear you have that sorted now HB. That will help a little to take the burden off your shoulders.

 

Bramble

[CLKD]

She'll survive  - she thrives on moaning and groaning ……..

[CLKD]

Update?  Did she stop the carers or accept the extra help?  Each illness seems to make the elderly shrink and become more fragile  .

How's her little dog, did the teeth get sorted?

[honeybun]

She on a waiting list to get carers around 5pm...so at the moment she is having to manage on her own at dinner time.....all she has to do really is heat up a pre cooked meal but she struggles as she is just done.

She is very down as she is fit for nothing.....she tells us she tries to sleep as it passes the time, it's very sad really. She remembers nothing now. Sis and I write everything down for her as anything she is told rattles around her head and does not stick at all.

The dog is going in for a tooth out on Tuesday. She has instructions written down about when to feed and when not. She will be in such a state...mother that is....sister will have to take the dog in as its at 8:30am and that's way too early for me as I live much further away. I may collect her if she gets out at lunch time.
Oh this is not easy and such hard work even having a conversation now as I have to go over and over and even then it's not retained.


Honeyb
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[CLKD]

Maybe the dog should stay with your sister over-night  ……… it is essential she is 'starved'  the dog that is.

Sleep is Nature's way of allowing an animal/human to slow down.  Until sleep takes over.  Is your Mum distressed by not remembering?

[honeybun]

She has her instructions written down and the carers will be told.

The dog is very overweight down to mother treating and feeding like a baby....she was so picky. When mum was ill sis was in charge of feeding....it dropped to once a day and dog was eating fine. Mother has managed to keep this going....one soon to be slim dog....we hope  . We knew the dog could be a dog because when mother broke her hip and sis and I were in charge of feeding, we fed her like we did our own dog and she was great.

Yes she is getting increasingly distressed about all sorts of things. Her memory...when she remembers she can't remember a thing...does that make any sense. It's so much worse. She keeps calling us not knowing what day it is and who does what and when. Sis and I have normal busy life's and she can't make head nor tail of any of it. My kids don't see that much of her but they call for a chat.....she can't keep up with that either.

Oh it's hard for her....and her carers...sis and me.


Honeyb
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