Hello everyone , hope all have a good weekend ! New here and just need to rant for a few minutes to get rid of this crazy feeling of being ever so slightly mad , well a lot mas actually !!
I am post menopausal 2yrs + and have recently started feeling so strange and anxious its unreal . I also have pernicious anemia , ME and Fibromyalgia , so a lot of other things going on too making it very difficult to tell what symptom is from what . I believe that I really did ignore a lot of my problems for many years as I was looking after first my mum then my dad during illness over the past 4 years - my Dad passing away this time last year . During this past year I have also lost 8 other friends & family , including my Dads dog who we took on , had a car accident in April`14 , no2 son went to Uni in September , lots of other stress too - so maybe the anxiety I now feel has caught up with me good and proper ??!! I haven't honestly had too many hot flushes to speak of , but have become very aware of hormonal changes and how they make me feel . I can go for weeks without feeling any sign of normality - constantly anxious , over worrying about every symptom , every problem becomes huge , I am jumpy , hate everyone - the dogs , my husband , some of my friends even , this makes me feel very guilty which increases anxiety and so on - I dont even know who I am right now and am feeling very low and lost . Most mornings I wake and think I cant go another day feeling so horrible and really worry for my state of mind , then other days Im happy and optimistic , relaxed and think clearly - the rest of the time Im in a complete fog , with memory problems , lack of co-ordination ,exhaustion and feel unable to cope with anything !! From reading other posts here I get the feeling this is pretty much par for the course ??
I have been thinking of HRT , so need to do some more research as I cannot imagine living like this for many more years .... I feel like Im going mad . I often wish for more hot flushes as when I do get them my head clears and I feel a very quick change in my mood - wonderful !! The rest of the time I feel pretty much "unreal" and find it very hard to cope with . I would really love to try HRT , but would prefer bio-identical hormones - however my GP doesn't even bother to acknowledge how rubbish I am feeling let alone accept I dont want anti depressants .... he actually laughed when I said what I would like .... I guess Im going to have to consider going private .
Anyway , enough for now - its good to just get it all out of my head and down in print - thanks for reading so far and look forward to chatting to you all again , as I know there's plenty more for me to say and ask about . For now , goodnight from a very wet , windy South Wales !