Hi dolliman,
When my children were babies, I was told by a wise health visitor that feeing guilty was par for the course if you are a caring parent. My son, now 30, had a wise head on young shoulders at age 7. "Mummy," he said, " I want you to be my Mummy, not my teacher". He was and is dyslexic and I was a teacher, but I had to stand back and just be Mummy. It's hard. You want to make things right for your children, but there are times when you have to stand back and be Mum. You may have to fight to get the appropriate support for your child, but your main job is to love your child unconditionally, to respect them and take a step back. Look after yourself. Don't be tempted to put your own needs on the back burner. It's not being selfish; it's essential, in order to be there for your family. As for your menopausal issues, there is a lot info on the site and you can post about any specific issues. Plenty of support here and some members are very knowledgable. Sending you my good wishes, Ju Ju xx