Sorry about these worries. I am certainly no doctor, but if it helps to reassure DonnaCrichton, I have premature ovarian failure too. 4 years ago I tried some donor egg ivf cycles - all the did was result in a miscarriage .... that's all over now and we adopted and am very happy etc etc with our adopted little boy.
But what I am getting round to saying is, when doing the donor egg ivf cycle, I had to go on an HRT preparation (they use these in donor egg ivf) and I was on FOUR TIMES the usual daily dose for an 'ordinary woman'. This means that every single day for a few weeks I was doing, in theory, an 'overdose' of 4 times the recommended limit every day ... and I felt no side effects at all, perhaps maybe a little mild nausea at first.
It's a different context I know, but I read on the packet of my current HRT patches that 'overdosing' (or perceiving to have too high a dose) is unlikely to cause harm.
I hear your pain and worry - I see this in myself too. I tend to get so wound up about every little tiny thing, every body sign, have great anxiety and panic about the HRT I take etc etc Also, if it helps to rationalise things, during pregnancy oestrogen gets higher and we consider 'pregnancy symptoms' as benign (although never been pregnant so maybe I can't say anything about that!!)
what I find hard is, the 'mental acceptance' of the hormone thing .... I feel uneasy just having to take HRT at my age, since 42 - constantly worry about it and of course that only fuels my panic, and then I get uptight about every bodily sign, which fuels the panic again and so it goes on!
At the early menopause clinic I originally attended in Harrow nr London, they spoke of oestrogen as if it were the elixir of life!!
We must have courage to plod on forwards!