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[CLKD]

Off to begin another thread [if I remember between here and there  ]

letting go

[babyjane]

Ju ju you are fortunate, when I feel unwell and unable to manage or do what others have come to expect, I get accused of being lazy at worst by certain family member and at best I get ignored until I am up and running again. I never hear the words 'what can I do' 'how can I help' 

This is my legacy for always being a control freak and doing everything because of my impossibly high standards trying to earn approval from one who was never going to approve. To be hones they probably don't offer help because I would think it wasn't good enough. I am my own worst enemy.

Sorry, off to look for CLKD new thread............

[CLKD]

Half way there though, you recognise why 'they' don't offer etc. 

[Ju Ju]

Oh BabyJane, I have so been there! It is my reset button, but I had to take a  step back from myself. I praised every effort to help. I just had to let go. Being in that position was good for me and maybe for my family. Just praise every effort that slightly approximates what I aim for. It's amazing how people respond when they feel appreciated. I know how I feel when I feel appreciated. I want to do more.

[babyjane]

Thanks Ju, so much I want to say but feel vulnerable as this is open to the internet but thank you for your wise words x

[Ju Ju]

Start a new thread in private lives?

[Judith57]

Babyjane, my post wasn't really meant lightheartedly, more as a sobering thought. However much we feel we are in control of our lives sometimes things happen that are completely beyond our control and de-rail our plans completely. I certainly didn't want to make anyone feel that they were being slapped in the face.

When I was living in New York I went to see Quentin Crisp giving a talk in Central Park and I remember very clearly his comment on dusting.

Judith

[babyjane]

dear Judith, this is when I dislike the typed word, it can be so stark. When I said it slapped me in the face, I meant what you said spoke directly to me and pulled me up short. I apologise if my terminology seemed flippant.

[Judith57]

Aaaaahhhh ok I see, makes more sense now 

[Rowan]

I like the version

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DAJYk1jOhzk

Let It Go - Frozen - Alex Boyé (Africanized Tribal Cover) Ft. One Voice Children's Choir

[rosebud57]

I think it's good to have a plan so long as it's not set in stone.  None of us know what is round the corner or what each day will bring so best to keep it loose.  I try and live in the moment but it's not always easy.  Worries and stresses have a habit of creeping in.

[CLKD]

So true Rosebud