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[Dandelion]

I just told a friend that my mental state is really fragile at the moment and that I sometimes found him a bit aggressive as he has been in the past.
When he tried to ask me more about it I said I am mentallly fragile at the moment and now is a bad time to discuss it, and I also said some other things but I covered myself by saying to him that due to my bad mental state, these things I am saying may not be true.
He said that I was not taking responsibiity for myself by saying I am not well at the moment, but I said if I try to talk about it, I may lose it and go mental, so I would rather avoid that, as I have given myself bad injuries in the past.
So if you know you are not well mentally, is it ok to say so, and if you dont want to talk about something in case it triggers an episode, or is this not taking responsibity?
I think I am just trying to take care of myself as i am mentally fragile and want to avoid one of those episodes where I lose it and start hitting myself.

[kiltgirl]

Hi Dandelion, you're just protecting yourself...I think that IS taking responsibility! You have to look after yourself, even if it means that others may be uncomfortable with it sometimes.

Personally I think your friend was being a bit pushy...that's kinda aggressive in itself? None of us are obliged to give what we can't, even though as women we seem to do it all of the time, with family etc.

Quite often I will tell friends I'm not up to talking, one particular one gets impatient with me, as if she knows what's best for me, better than I do myself.

Don't feel bad about doing what's feels right for you

 

[honeybun]

Have you spoken to any professionals about this.

To be honest I'm not sure if the forum is the best place to ask for this kind of level of advice.

Perhaps a visit to your GP and then a referral on from there.



Honeyb
x

[Hattie]

From what you have written i think that you have already had professional advice and are just trying to avoid another episode being triggered.

Have you got a health care worker as a contact ?

Hattie X

[Dandelion]

Hi kiltgirl, hattie and honeyb

Yeah I have already been in touch with mental health services.

Thanks kiltgirl for your post it really helps.
Hi Hattie, I have a support worker, but she is not a mental health nurse.
What's the point in me discussing stuff if it's just going to trigger an episode. It wouldnt be fair on my frieind, by waiting till I am in a better frame of mind, it saves him being upset also

[Liz]

Hi Dandelion , how are you getting on with your new HRT?  Do you think it's starting to kick in yet?  Perhaps you'll feel a bit better once it does...

[CLKD]

I think you can tell people around you to back off - it is your Life and you shouldn't have to justify why.  A 'I feel fragile at present and unable to hold a conversation with anyone' should be enough!  Add to that "I will be in touch once the medication kicks in" ……. I 'lost' a lot of friends during my severely depressed years as people couldn't understand how I could do stuff 1 day but not the next  .  Halved our C.mas card list!

As I grew older saying 'no' became easier.

Make sure that you contact your support team today.

[Dandelion]

Hi Dandelion , how are you getting on with your new HRT?  Do you think it's starting to kick in yet?  Perhaps you'll feel a bit better once it does...

Hi Liz

I am still getting sweats in bed and flushes, but not as bad as before.
I still have my IBS, but I am on anti-biotics following an operation I had 9 days ago.
Prior to starting my new hrt, my flushes had stepped up a notch, and they were soaking my clothes and i felt like I was literally in a sauna.
The hospital ward was a really hot place and I found it really difficult.

I'm glad I bought the evorel 50 privately, because the doc only prescribed me 25mcg and I knew it would not be enough.

[Dandelion]

I think you can tell people around you to back off - it is your Life and you shouldn't have to justify why.  A 'I feel fragile at present and unable to hold a conversation with anyone' should be enough!  Add to that "I will be in touch once the medication kicks in" ……. I 'lost' a lot of friends during my severely depressed years as people couldn't understand how I could do stuff 1 day but not the next  .  Halved our C.mas card list!

As I grew older saying 'no' became easier.

Make sure that you contact your support team today.

Hi CKLD
Thank you. I have a support worker who works for a charity for mentally ill, and I am seeing her next week. I spoke to her today.
I also  have a counsellor who I pay for privately, and we have sessions every month.
The problem is, due to the economic situation, every one is pushed for time, so there is never enough time for me to talk about all my stuff.
It's also very stressful and I cannot handle stress.
I know they are all doing their best but the time thing really is a strain.

I'm sorry you lost so many friends, maybe they were not real friends to start with.
It's really difficult, that people don't understand.
Also, the meno depression and anxiety is different from the 'regular' type of anxiety I get with mental illness.
The meds, counsellor, and support worker, do help with the mental illness side of things, but the meno induced moods, on top are just too much to cope with.

[CLKD]

If you are paying you should get a full hour for your buck!  When my Psychologist began to arrive late for sessions and leave early and I was getting 35-40 mins. only, I left.  I was paying £75.00 per hour! so don't use the excuse that people are pushed for time.  Doesn't weigh with me, patients are paying for their time! Private practice is not affected by the economic climate. 

A patient needs to prioritise their worries.  So making a list and deciding what to discuss at your sessions is important.  Explain that you want to review the timing of your sessions in order to lessen your stress levels, perhaps have 2 hours weekly!

[Dandelion]

If you are paying you should get a full hour for your buck!  When my Psychologist began to arrive late for sessions and leave early and I was getting 35-40 mins. only, I left.  I was paying £75.00 per hour! so don't use the excuse that people are pushed for time.  Doesn't weigh with me, patients are paying for their time! Private practice is not affected by the economic climate. 

A patient needs to prioritise their worries.  So making a list and deciding what to discuss at your sessions is important.  Explain that you want to review the timing of your sessions in order to lessen your stress levels, perhaps have 2 hours weekly!

Hi CKLD

Sorry I wasn't being clear.
My private counsellor always gives me extra time.
I pay for half and hour and she gives me 45, but, after that, she has to call time. She has lots of other clients too.
I cannot afford any more.
I wasnt meaning to sound like I am complaining about her, it's just that she, plus my support worker, plus my GP's etc are all pushed for time, and I often feel like I need more time to get all my questions answered.

I'm sorry your therapist was  not giving you the full amount of time you paid for.

thanks

[CLKD]

That's OK.  Did you speak to your 'team' yet?

[Dandelion]

That's OK.  Did you speak to your 'team' yet?

Hi

I don't have a team any longer from mental health services. but thanks.