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[Ilovemycats]

Hi been reading the boards lately and thought I'd finally join.

At 47 I went to drs feeling generally unwell. Blood tests came back normal apart from hormones which showed I was menopausal. He recommended I see lady gp who knew more. Fast track to my sister having breast cancer and rallying to support. She finished her treatment this year. Just after my 49 birthday I had to have both tubes removed due to infection and damage-which I'd known previously about but dh and I were still trying to conceive.
I had a blip of depression around this time but had some ad from dr as I didn't want hrt due to sister. I was only on 2x25mg of tabs- the min was 75 for therapeutic dose.

Felt better after a while so reduced to 25. Suddenly I have hit a brick wall with depression and anxiety. My flashes been taking sage and femerelle-herbal. I have upped my ad to 50 again and have to wait for them to kick in. I feel wretched-it's been a difficult year with everything I know but I feel so worthless. I am 11 months post last period so know I'm well on my way. Will this improve? I could cry at drop of hat-having really bad migraines. I'm trying to be strong but am worrying over everything-don't have kids-feel guilty for my dh. Considered adoption but even that sends me in a spin.

I know I have to get myself back to better place but dont know how. Any advice appreciated

Xx

[dazedandconfused76]

Hi there and welcome

Sorry to learn what you're going thru, I hope u can take some comfort in reading others' experiences by knowing you're not alone. I recently joined too...due mainly to feelings as well. I can handle and put up with most of the physical stuff, it's the anxiety that affects me most. I can't really comment on whether things will get better etc as I'm kind of at the same stage as you..my last period was April (very intermittent prior to that). But I would like to know if this is as bad as it gets as couldn't handle much worse

I too have to deal with infertility now...luckily I did have my daughter at 31 unplanned before I knew I was in for premature meno just few yrs later. I know about your guilt tho...I feel this too for my daughter being an only child. I wish u a fulfilling resolution.

I've just started 50mg of sertraline...just in week 2 - been getting bad headaches but will see how I go. Never wanted to take ad's but felt I had no choice in the end. Sorry I haven't got any advice, as I'm struggling too, just wanted to say hi really xx

[Ilovemycats]

Hi there 

Thanks for your kind reply.  It's awful isn't it.  At first my hot flushes were coming every ten mins and I thought I would pop. Fortunately the sage and femarelle have helped with them.

I guess I've been simmering the last two years and threw myself into supporting my sis. Then with the surgery - I guess it's no wonder I feel low. Could kick myself for reducing the ad - I should have just left it as it was. So now going through the rocky road till my body gets used to it again. Another month and I will be offically post menopausal-wonder if I will feel any different...

I guess I now just have to accept my fertility gone, and try to find some positives for my future. Just tough when u r going through meno too..

Big hug to you I hope u soon feel better too x x x

[dazedandconfused76]

Totally understandable that you're feeling low - you've been thru a lot. And all around the same time too, which from the trillion self-help books I've read, is what has the biggest impact. Most of us can handle big events - it's when numerous things happen at once that we really struggle. For me it was the prem meno and redundancy (as the main bread winner) both occuring within few mths.
Glad yr flushes have eased, I've just recently begun feeling hot but it seems to come as a result of an anxious situation,  not just on their own so unsure what that is.
So the ad's did work for you then? I tried Prozac after the redundancy but only lasted 10 days as I didn't like the way I felt, so im praying these sertraline/zoloft will work better. I know what u mean about wondering how you'll feel once post meno...if we knew there was light at the end it would be a tad easier to bear!
Keep strong xx

[Ilovemycats]

Hi kikidee

I had a  parental Bereavement and miscarriage about 9 years ago and had to go on ad. Tried ssri-gave me awful anxiety it crippled me. Lasted only a few days on those. Dr switched me to tricyclics-dosulepin. Absolute god send. Had a wobbly few weeks them getting in my system-all ad can make u feel worse before better. 4 weeks in and the fog lifted as well as depression and anxiety.  Hang in there-you will feel better in promise  x x x

[dazedandconfused76]

Gosh, that must've been horrendous time for you good to hear u found what worked for you and helped get you thru Hope these do for me - hate the thought of trying them for a month, then having to start all over again with something else. Fingers crossed tho, from what I recall, these feel less 'weird' than Prozac did - this gp seemed slightly dissaproving of the previous gp for prescribing Prozac??

Thanks for your positivity...right back at ya!

Wishing you strength and happiness xx

[CLKD]

ADs can really ease feelings if the sufferer can tolerate the side effects.  I take ADs and the side effects of feeling dopey occasionally are well worth the alternative.

" ……….  don't have kids - feel guilty for my dh …….. "  time to sit down and talk to him about this then!  Don't assume that because you feel how you do about your lack of fertility that he feels similar.  He may be more worried about you ! but unless you ask you will never get rid of that guilt.  Worthless? think back to how supportive you've been to your sister under difficult circumstances and work forwards from that!  I think you need to grieve for what might have been too. 

Welcome both by the way. Have a read of menus, left of screen.  Search for topics to see how other ladies have fared/not.  We have a humorous room too 

[dazedandconfused76]

Thanks CLKD

Jeez, I'm dopey enough w/out ad's...God help me when they kick in xx

[CLKD]

You won't notice that you are dopey etc.  …………

let us know how you get on!

[Ilovemycats]

Hi again girls

I am normally such an upbeat person. Have had blips of depression but managed to get through in the past.

I've been having bad palpitations - different from anxiety- and r sometimes breath taking. I know it's all hormonal-just want it to end- don't we all. It's been over a couple of years now so am hoping this will all level out soon. I do know that ad getting in ur system can make u feel worse so am riding as best I can.

I am having terrible fog moments at work-a job I've had for 30 years-and just not feeling like I can cope with anything at moment. Even meeting up with friends feel stressed by it! I'm making myself go to gym after work and trying to eat well. Fingers crossed in a couple of weeks I will be posting feeling much better!! Thanks to you both for your kind replies-makes such a difference to offload.

Xxxxx

[hanging.on.in.there]

Dear Ilovemycats,

I can relate to so much of what you say in your last post there, sounds just like my life and attitude !
Do keep up the gym and healthy eating, I'm convinced that helps,

Thinking of you- we can do this xxxx !!

[dazedandconfused76]

Ditto ladies! I feel my core personality of fun-loving, chatty, humorous is gradually being chipped away by constant struggle just to function 'normally'.  I just cycled 2 miles to go to a yoga class and 2 miles back thinking this anxiety needs to burned off out of my system...as that's what would happen in the original days of fight or flight - either option means yr getting rid of the adrenaline. But rather than feel good about myself, I feel down because my mind raced thru about 70% of the yoga class! I got really hot and felt likeci was going to run out and embarrass myself. I stuck thru it, which I know should be the main thing but can't help get down cos everything has to be a struggle I am on day 5 of 50mg sertraline/zoloft so unsure if maybe I'm in thecfeeling worse before better stage - just another thought to add to the 3000 others racing around up there!!
Sorry to vent Wishing you all peace (of mind)!! Xxx

[Ilovemycats]

Hi kikidee

Day 5 of 50mg is still early days for u on sertraline. They say it can take 6 weeks to see full benefit. It's a case of trying to bide your time till they kick in. You have to remember that most ad,s can make you feel more anxious and odd whilst getting into your system. I would stick to this dose for at least that time.

It sounds like you are doing all you can to help yourself so well done. Hang on in there as some of ur anxiety will be down to Med. I'd not been on any for 7 years or more and the first week I couldn't focus-felt like I was going loopy loo-had bad anxiety. I've upped my dose last weekend and have the same symptoms but in milder form. I know it will pass-which makes it easier.

You will get YOU back. You WILL feel better with a bit of time. If ur anxiety too bad ask dr for some low dose beta blockers to try to help. They did for me   

These ad,s can't cure the menopause but can certainly help!! Once u r in a better place u will be able to see wood for the trees. Lots of women experience anxiety and depression in the menopause. Lots don't. I think it also depends what else is going on in ur life at the time. Sometimes it's just about acceptance... Not a place I've found myself in of late. But I'm hopeful...

I've had a much better day at work today-the old me organising! I'm hoping I'm turning a corner. Along with sage-femarelle-a knicker magnet ..... Yes u read right! Google it it's the lady care magnet-gotta be worth a try and its not that much. Just watching I don't stick to the fridge lol. Lots of positive reviews-so going to try for a month!!  I've taken femarelle for about two years now-works wonders for the nether regions I can personally say

Big hugs to you all x x x

[dazedandconfused76]

Hi again

Happy to hear you've had a good day - try to focus on that and keep the momentum going! Haha re knicker magnets Can honestly say I'd never heard of them! Just googled it...keep us posted on how it goes! I'm most intrigued by the Sage - do u think it'd be ok with the ad's? Is it purely for flushes? Don't think ive had a classic hot flush but have definitely felt a new general heatness so maybe they're on their way - may try sage for that - nip them in the bud

Know what u mean about different symptoms for different people...I think I've generally escaped lots of the common symtoms...haven't had any dryness downstairs! So I'm not 100% the anxiety is connected to prem meno...but it does feel different to anxiety I had yrs ago. I suppose it could help to let go of what the cause is. I enquired about a private psychologist today but he charges £70 an hr so that ain't an option!! Will see how things pan out with the NHS counsellor (not hopeful tho)...from previous experience.

Thanks for your encouragement, it means so much more coming from someone speaking from experience. What a roller coaster hey!! Oh to be a man xxx

[Ilovemycats]

Hi kikidee

The sage is def worth a try-u can get them cheaply on line from amazon. Fsc sage. U can take 4 a day -start off with two with ur evening meal and see how u go. U can always take the other too if sweats get bad but two for me generally work well. My last week they have been bad again but seem to be tapering to a manageable level.they are just herbal-so fine with ad,s.

Do u have a good friend u can talk to? Might be easier than waiting for nhs. Or sit and pour it all out on pen and paper-then just throw it away. Sometimes offloading any way is a help.

The ferarelle helped with dryness down below a huge amount - they are soya based and don't affect breast or uterine tissue.  They are also reported to help balance hormones for menopause-I've done the last two hrs on them without any problems with the meno before now. I've had a difficult 18 months with other stuff which is why Im low at the moment too. But hopefully with this combo I will come through the other side. I'm nearly post menopause so fingers crossed my hormones symptoms will ease.

Men have no idea lol

Hope u have a good day, just off to work

Take care xx