This topic was previously titled "Back after a year away (from MM!) - update and previously registered as MINNIE!" - Update by Emma
Good morning ladies! Previous known as MINNIE, I had to change my log in details, as moved from my old location! Thought my new log in was appropriate, as that is how my brain feels, still! I have still been reading the forum regularly, and still feel in such good company.
Boring recap - awful, awful avalanche of symptoms started 3 years ago, after 18 months of no periods, and cessation, bizarrely of hot flushes. In the space of a week, I had 36 of the 37 "classic" symptoms, with no reason, explanation, or care from the medical world! Three years later, feel exactly the same, BUT, have moved to Dorset, and have a wonderful lady GP, who is the first person on my journey to take charge! Recently saw a very esteemed member of the Menopause Society privately, as was staggered by his attitude, cold as could be, clearly bored, and absolutely no understanding of the "unlevel menopause playing field"!!! My GP was furious, but not surprised, so she is now going to prescribe, and I see her today.
My main symptoms appear to have been caused by a very, very sharp tightening of the pelvic floor muscles that is the effect of very bad vaginal/cervical atrophy, that has affected the whole musculoskeletal part of my lower body, pain in the buttocks, weak feeling in the groin and legs (like flu), ache in the pelvis, and utter disruption of the digestive system! My muscles are now so tight, I can't even pull them in any further when told to, and everything aches so much, as though I have a very heavy period. I can't sit for long, as I get a weird tingling in my lower body, and I can't walk far, as it all aches!! I saw a pelvic therapist, what a waste of time, who told me to do some breathing exercises, and the "sniff, drop, and flop" exercises, great while you do them, but the minute you move, everything tenses again, and while you have uncontrollable anxiety and nervous tension, which nearly takes your head off, and even makes your ears pound, you have no control, as the tension in my case goes straight to the pelvic area! I was put onto Evorel 50 by the so called "Menopause King" but it hasn't done a thing, because I am 56, they all think low dose HRT, is all you need, but I have all the same symptoms as peri, and more! I did start on Sertraline for a while but it doesn't address the main problems obviously. I also use Vagifem, but clearly I need industrial strength!!
I have had to leave a job recently due to anxiety and pain, and find that every time I try to concentrate, I immediately have a shooting pain in the pelvis, I cry all the time, and although didn't think I was depressed before, I now think I am, as there seems to be no help at all for me, and the thought of being like this until my deathbed, is unbearable. I feel so shallow as well, not having a real illness, as so many people put up with terrible pain and worry, and get on with their lives. My lovely mum recently died after a short illness, lung cancer, she was so dignified, never moaned, and I feel ashamed.
I missed you all, and hope that seeing my new GP again today will mean I can give you better news, but I am so happy for those of you who are doing so well!
Sorry for the essay! xxx