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[Kathleen]

Hello Ladies, bit of a rant coming up if you don't mind.

I am so sick of this anxiety! I feel on edge so much of the time and whenever a special event comes up, or indeed anything out of the ordinary, I go to pieces. I hardly slept last night because of what has been arranged for this weekend and my IBS problems have started which is a sure sign that I'm stressed. My husband is sick of hearing about my issues and I don't blame him.

I've always been an anxious type of person but it's only since the menopause that I've felt so jittery so much of the time and even when I think I'm relaxed I'm clearly not as any sudden noise or movement makes me jump.

Any thoughts ladies, similar experiences or ideas for how to cope? I'm nearly 58, post meno and using patches but I still have these anxiety issues.

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest, I know you will understand and not judge me, I just wish I didn't feel so overwhelmed by it all!

Best wishes to you all and take care.

K.




   

[Witches Cat]

Hi there Kathleen,  I'm exactly the same as you, I'm nearly 59, I'm on HRT but anything out of the usual routine throws me, we've a wedding to go to next weekend and I'm so anxious about it, we're having lots of heavy manual work to do in father-in-laws garden ready for the winter (he has Alzheimer's), shed fixing this weekend so his 50ft shed doesn't fall down, tons of wood arriving this afternoon. I can't for the life of me see how we are gonna fix it, it looks a massive job to me.  we're shutting our shop for the week next week to be able to do his repairs, but then our work isn't getting done... my guts are all over the place too, it's only the fact that I've been checked out at hospital that keeps me going cuz I know it's all stress related. This week too our cctv cameras have started packing up at the shop so that needs fixing, years back I'd have sailed through it but just can't get a grip these days. Just wanna hide most of the time.  I do feel for you cuz I know exactly how you feel,  Chin up... It can't go on forever... 

[honeybun]

 

It's awful, and I totally understand how you feel. I think the enjoyable moments in life are passing me by at the moment as I wish them over so I can get home.
No easy answer though.
Have you tried the website No More Panic.....hints and tips there and also books by Dr Clair Weekes. She explains that fighting anxiety is pointless. Let it come and let it pass and it never harms you.
Very difficult I know but it does work a bit.


Honeyb
x

[babyjane]

Hello Kathleen, it really does help to talk about this and not bottle it up.  thank you as I tend to think it is just me and that there is something wrong with me mentally. I know this is not true from reading posts on this forum. I do find Rescue Remedy is helpful but occasionally I just have to take a low dose of a beta blocker.

Witches Cat, last weekend was our daughter's wedding and my anxiety levels had been rising the nearer it got, for no reason as there was nothing stressful about it, its just that I was out of my comfort zone. As a result my IBS went into overdrive and my piles flared up as I was on my feet a lot.  The wedding was lovely and nothing to be anxious about but I think adrenaline levels rise and there is nothing you can do about it. Mind over matter will not work.

Anyway enough about me, I just wanted to say that I really do understand how it feels and it is reassuring to hear others similar experiences and know we are not going mad.

[Kathleen]

Hello Witches Cat, honeybun and babyjane.

I'm so grateful to you for taking the time to reply and although I wouldn't wish these awful feelings on anyone it is such a comfort to know that I'm not alone in this.

Witches Cat - It sounds as if you have a lot to contend with at the moment so I'm not surprised that you are feeling stressed. IBS just adds to the mix so you have my sympathy.  Like you I tell myself that this can't continue forever and  Dr Stoppard says that the emotional difficulties of the menopause decline when we get to sixty, so not long to wait for us eh!

honeybun - I know what you mean about enjoyable moments not being so enjoyable at the moment. One of the worst things about the anxiety is the way is becomes so distracting, sometimes even before you've done anything!  I will check out the website, thank you.

babyjane - I also take a Beta Blocker at times and I agree that bottling it up makes us feel worse so I now see a counsellor every two weeks. I must say though that speaking with the ladies on this site is so reassuring, it's wonderful to chat with women who have experienced the same thing and to feel truly accepted and understood.

My best wishes to you ladies, onward and upward we go...

Take care.

K.

 

[lindyloo]

Hi girls 👭
Not posted for long time ,but I have been following you all ! Still got my anxiety problems ,was born worrying , usually I Know what s Worrying me but ,last few weeks just feel anxious ,my poor husband must be so fed up with me ,
Just joined the no more panic site , thankyou Honeybun xx
Will give it a go
Love Lindyloo xxxxxxxx I

[karenja]

Hi Kathleen, I know how you feel, like you I was a bit anxious anyway but now gone terrible nervy its awful it does effect everything you do, and on top of that every like twinge etc I worry about as Im on hrt and and don't know whats normal and what isn't, Ive read lots of info on panic and got a few relaxation cd's and find that deep breathing can help, so good to know we are not alone x

[Suzyq]

It will pass but it does take some work! The things that are working for me are cbt, hypnosis, self-help books (I found Claire weeks very outdated BUT very good), progesterone every day!

If you just aren't coping, then go back to your gp. A drug that I was going to try next is lyrica (which is actually for nerve pain) which has had very very good results with anxiety and it works immediately unlike ad's. There is help out there and no need to live your life with anxiety which for me, was truly my worst symptom, although the others weren't much fun either!

I have tried several times to cut out the daily progesterone, but within a week I get all the anxiety back, so it may be worth considering this! It takes about 4 weeks to get over the initial symptoms of taking it daily but then it is very calming!!

Good luck ladies

[Milamam]

Yes Ive read somewhere that progesterone actually is the calming hormone and works in the same way as benzos in the brain. Interesting about lyrica, Suziq. Is this a drug or something herbal? Never heard of it!

[honeybun]

I hadn't heard of it either so I had a Google. Thinks it's primarily used to treat seizures. To be honest it's another (in my opinion)  very strong med that could have horrendous side effects. As that kind of thing scares me it would not be for me.


Honeyb
x

[Kathleen]

Hello and good morning lindyloo, karenja, Suzyq, Milamam and honeybun.

Thank you all for your comments, this is such a confusing time in our lives, it's so hard to know what to do for the best.  I've woken up with my usual jitters that last most of the day. I felt calm when I went to bed last night and I thought if only I could find a way to spread that feeling throughout the day!

I already take an AD and on my last visit my GP mentioned trying another one called Sertraline but I'm not sure I want to try it, I'll only start worrying about the side effects!

The only thing that helps right now is talking on this site, so thank you ladies, at least we are not alone.

Wishing you all well in spite of it all.

K.   

[Rowan]

Here is a good explanation of why you can wake up with a jittery feeling, it happens  at all ages

e.g. from http://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/types/when-you-wake-up

Dreams Causing Anxiety

Anxiety may also lead to more nightmares or more stressful dreams. Often when you are woken up in the middle of these dreams, you feel exactly as you did in the dream – stressed and anxious. Not everyone remembers their dreams even after they wake up, so you may not always realize that your anxiety is associated with your dreams or nightmares.

I can certainly relate to that.

[2cats]

Hi Kathleen,

A book that really helped me is called "The Happiness Trap", from it I have a notebook with the most helpful points and exercises I've written down and when I'm in an anxious phase, it comes everywhere with me! 
The main thing that helped me is realising that trying to force anxiety out of me was impossible...the only way to settle it down is to accept it and then to use strategies to help it dissipate gradually.  Anxiety, is like quicksand, if you struggle in it, you will sink much more quickly.

There are too many ways to do deal with anxiety to write down here...but for instance, one thing I do is to say to myself "thank you mind but I am not playing that game today or, what sort of person do I want to be? Someone who is independent and can go places on her own, enjoy life etc etc,, or I don't like the anxiety, I don't want the anxiety, but right now I accept it."  All becomes clear in the book.

I also have to use valium (2.5mg) here and there when I feel like I'm going to descend further into panic, as it makes me feel so normal again!  I never feel "out of it" on it...it just seems to switch off the part of my brain which goes into overdrive and I become a laughing, joking, conversationalist again!!

My anxiety was practically gone for quite a few months but it's reared its ugly head again in the last couple of months which has been a kick in the teeth.  So I'm back to relaxation cd, exercise and reading my very helpful notes on dealing with anxiety.
SUZYQ - I've been considering asking my gp about prog every day....what are the initial symptoms you are talking about?
Thanks

[Bracken willowshimmer]

Hi 2cats,

I liked your post and the way you deal with anxiety, I am going to give it a go.  Will definitely have a read of The Happiness Trap.

X

[Suzyq]

For me I found it difficult to sleep and generally had a few more flashy symptoms - I believe it competes with the estrogen receptors initially?? Anyway I was on the point of giving up with it but after four weeks it just sort do clicked in and no more anxiety, felt the best I had in ages! After 3 months I started to get a bit pmt ish, bad tempered so quit it and back to horrific anxiety! I restarted but at a lower dose (100mg per day vaginally was just too much for me). It doesn't agree with everyone, but the estrogen alone wasn't helping my symptoms apart from eliminating the hot flushes. My specialist explained that you have to have the right ratio of progesterone to estrogen - it made sense to me!

When being used for anxiety, lyrica is prescribed in a very small dose! I find taking any drugs scary, but it is worth exploring options if life is very difficult to manage due to anxiety ...