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Author Topic: Trying to explain the symptoms of Perimenopause to my boss!!!!  (Read 14682 times)

Taz2

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Re: Trying to explain the symptoms of Perimenopause to my boss!!!!
« Reply #15 on: June 09, 2014, 06:52:51 AM »

Sickness Monitoring seems to be the norm across most employment sectors now Morwenna. It's the actions of the time wasters and malingerers in society which have made it necessary to check up on all staff unfortunately.

Taz x
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CLKD

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Re: Trying to explain the symptoms of Perimenopause to my boss!!!!
« Reply #16 on: June 09, 2014, 02:10:47 PM »

Unfortunately this is something the Unions should be hot upon! but there is always 'constructive dismissal' to fall back on but Companies know that by then, employees are worn to a frazzle so are un-likely to go to Court.

Advice is essential - forewarned is forearmed  ;) - it doesn't matter if colleagues seem sympathetic right now, if they feel their position is threatened you may find they change - it happened to me and those 3 women are no longer my friends  :'( …… I never trusted anyone in the same way …….
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Lady D

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Re: Trying to explain the symptoms of Perimenopause to my boss!!!!
« Reply #17 on: June 09, 2014, 07:38:56 PM »

I get that sickness monitoring happens a lot but doesn't make it right to discipline someone for being ill, plain wrong imo :(
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Linsey44

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Re: Trying to explain the symptoms of Perimenopause to my boss!!!!
« Reply #18 on: June 09, 2014, 08:45:36 PM »

CLKD thats a shame you had a bad experience, when our trust is broken its really difficult to repair and i agree it makes us wary of forming new friendships.

I think its bad for anyone to be disciplined for genuine absence reasons, but unfortunately its all the lazy ones who are absent at the drop of a hat that have spoilt it for the rest of us. This is a problem in most organisations.

Will keep you posted of the outcome, certainly wont be losing any sleep over it and wont be going the extra mile in future.  Not planning to work there for much longer anyway.

Thanks for all supportive comments and useful views. X
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tiger74

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Re: Trying to explain the symptoms of Perimenopause to my boss!!!!
« Reply #19 on: June 09, 2014, 09:34:00 PM »

Yep, many employers have formal sickness absence monitoring processes nowadays.  In my experience (at a previous place of work) this worked very effectively and definitely put out the message to several malingers that "we're on to you" which resulted in said employees either voluntarily leaving the organisation or improving their attendance. 

I think that, if administered and delivered correctly by good HR personnel, such schemes are worthwhile.  I had no worries about having to attend a formal interview having had 3 periods of sickness absence within a year (foot operation, RAI treatment to thyroid and then breast cancer treatment).  All sizeable chunks of absence.  The HR officer stressed that the formal interview was in no way a disciplinary matter - he was extremely supportive and sought to gain assurance from me that everything was being done by Occy Health and managers to enable my return to work and make reasonable adjustments.  This, by the way, was at a place of work which didn't formally recognise unions.

If someone is a malingerer they can rightly be intimidated by having their sickness absence monitored, if someone is a conscientious employee with genuine reasons for absence (whether self- or doctor-certified) they should have no need to be concerned.           
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tiger74

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Re: Trying to explain the symptoms of Perimenopause to my boss!!!!
« Reply #20 on: June 09, 2014, 10:43:13 PM »

BTW, regarding the original subject title for this thread.

Is there any reason why you should need to explain the details to your boss?  You have given a reason for your sickness absence, why do you have to justify this by going into detail?  It is really nobody else's business - end of!
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Taz2

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Re: Trying to explain the symptoms of Perimenopause to my boss!!!!
« Reply #21 on: June 09, 2014, 10:44:48 PM »

Are the pains and aches in your arms menopause related - I wondered whether you have a neck problem as well as all of the meno stuff going on?

Taz x
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Morwenna

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Re: Trying to explain the symptoms of Perimenopause to my boss!!!!
« Reply #22 on: June 10, 2014, 07:37:51 AM »

If someone is a malingerer they can rightly be intimidated by having their sickness absence monitored, if someone is a conscientious employee with genuine reasons for absence (whether self- or doctor-certified) they should have no need to be concerned.         

Unfortunately in reality, this system can be intimidating for 'conscientious employees' also, thereby adding to the stress created by the reason for absence, whatever that may be. In my experience so far, those conscientious employees among my staff that have been placed on 'sickness monitoring' are anxious not to push their percentage up by being off during the period of monitoring and have therefore struggled into work when they quite clearly should not be there. It has had limited effect on suspected malingerers who are fully aware that it is very difficult to prove whether their reason for absence was genuine or not. I think some of the responsibility should lay with GPs - in my opinion they dish out fitness to work certificates at the drop of a hat.
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tiger74

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Re: Trying to explain the symptoms of Perimenopause to my boss!!!!
« Reply #23 on: June 10, 2014, 11:59:55 AM »

Yes Morwenna - I have seen similar things at some places I've worked but the scheme was well-run and effective at the college where I used to work.  I think the role of firm but fair management (which supports conscientious employees and deals effectively with those who don't pull their weight) is very important.  As is the role of HR professionals administering the scheme.  I had both good management and good HR professionals at this place of work - how I wish that were the case everywhere. 

It's a shame when conscientious, valuable employees are intimidated by the process and over the years I too have seen people struggle to work when they really shouldn't be there.  Such a shame.  If everyone pulled their weight it wouldn't be necessary.  In my experience, those employees who have unjustifiable time off sick are those who don't exactly bust a gut to work hard when they do actually grace their place of work with their presence.   

Definitely agree about the responsibility of GPs in all this.  I appreciate that they are in a tricky position but some GPs take this part of their job seriously and hand out the certificates only when clinically justified, others, frankly, are a push-over.  Of course, the malingerers know with which type of GP to make the appointment!
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CLKD

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Re: Trying to explain the symptoms of Perimenopause to my boss!!!!
« Reply #24 on: June 10, 2014, 01:20:06 PM »

At my age I would go tell the Boss to stick his head in the sand, I've been poorly that should be enough.  After all, he/she isn't allowed to ask if you plan to have family/your sexual orientation/if you are married ........ so 'being poorly' ought to surfice!  A simple 'PMT today' might be enough  ;)
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Linsey44

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Re: Trying to explain the symptoms of Perimenopause to my boss!!!!
« Reply #25 on: June 18, 2014, 01:51:45 PM »

Just had absence meeting with boss and hr rep.

Outcome was written warning for being absent in the last 12 months due to hysterectomy then 10 months later having to get ovaries removed.  Just a shame they dont consider the previous 11 years with only a few days absence in total.

I am really angry even though i expected it.

Rant over.!!!

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Limpy

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Re: Trying to explain the symptoms of Perimenopause to my boss!!!!
« Reply #26 on: June 18, 2014, 03:16:58 PM »

Linsey - What you describe sounds really bad.

It might be worth writing to your employers outlining the facts that you state above. Say you were so shocked at their attitude in the interview that you were unable to think clearly. You expected them to know your attendance record during the history of you time there and not have to restate it.

Also, do you have a union you can consult? Or, the CAB may have some suggestions.
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Linsey44

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Re: Trying to explain the symptoms of Perimenopause to my boss!!!!
« Reply #27 on: June 18, 2014, 03:30:37 PM »

They dont take into account any details /reasons of your absence only the fact you werent at work.  The union apparently worked with them,  I advised i wouldnt be doing extra hours i usually do in order to complete tasks and wont be going the extra mile in future. 

Prob they have done me a favour as I wont be stressing over workload in future, my new attitude is - if i can do it within my working day i will.  If i cant it will have to wait.  Away to look for a new job, downside is new employers will want me to declare my absence level and work would prob disclose the fact i had a written warning for it.

The joys!
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CLKD

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Re: Trying to explain the symptoms of Perimenopause to my boss!!!!
« Reply #28 on: June 18, 2014, 04:08:46 PM »

Your current employer can only give a good reference, they are not allowed to state anything negative.

They cannot sack you for being absent due to sickness.  In fact if they haven't asked you why nor sought to get reports from your GP or Consultant, I would say that this falls in the realms of intimidation.  I was discussing the ins and outs with DH who was a Managed and he states the Companies no longer take into account your 'good' level of attendance.  However, if one is up-front about the time one requires from work due to surgical intervention, then it is not good management not to be supportive when the employee returns!

You don't have to look for another job.  If you are pushed to leave then it's Constructive Dismissal.  I would begin making notes as to what has been said and ask for a copy of any details written down at the recent meeting.  Do you have a Nurse on site?  This would make a huge difference  ;)
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CLKD

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Re: Trying to explain the symptoms of Perimenopause to my boss!!!!
« Reply #29 on: June 18, 2014, 04:11:11 PM »

Another thought: there will be a procedure for management to follow - so discussion, followed by written warnings, followed by ..... this should be within the Terms and Conditions of your Contract.  Do you get the feeling that they are trying to 'push you out of post' ?  Remember too that no one can be made redundant unless that particular position is no longer vialbe within the Company  ;) i.e. you can't be made redundant, then find someone else was interviewed and offered 'your' job!
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