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[Michelle3004]

Please help I'm 36 and had a hysterectomy 4 years ago for endometriosis however one ovary was left. Of late I have been feeling down, depressed can't cope with life and just generally unwell. Blood tests show that my ovary has failed and I am in early menopause.
I have an appointment tomorrow with a consultant to discuss my options but I just feel so worn out and unwell. I work full time as a nurse and my job is very busy - my question is - does this warrant time off? I'm worried that they may think I am over reacting


Please help

[Taz2]

Hi Michelle - welcome to the forum - things wont seem as bleak now that you have found us! 

I would think that your consultant will offer you HRT - this is something that you need at your young age at least until the usual meno age which is around 51 years of age. You need this to protect your heart and bones.  Hopefully this will then make you feel better and more able to cope.

We have discussed on here before the way that menopause is not seen as an illness warranting time off work but, of course, the symptoms can give rise to feelings of ill-health such as depression and tiredness which is something you can be signed off work for. You know your own body and how well you are managing at the moment and it may be better to take time now rather than to run yourself completely into the ground. You can of course self certificate for seven days, just to give yourself a breathing space, without having to consult the doctor.

Let us know how you get on with the consultant tomorrow.

Taz x 

[Michelle3004]

Thank you for your kind words. Life feels difficult at the moment with the hot sweats,flushes,tiredness etc etc etc
I just can't seem to cope with how I feel at the moment but too frightened to sign myself off, work unfortunately are not that understanding. I'm hoping that my consultant will be more understanding and recommend me to have some time off.
The response that I am getting from work is oh well these things happen which makes me feel 10 times worse

Michelle

[Dancinggirl]

Hi Michelle3004 and welcome to MM
It's really tough to be menopausal in your mid 30s and it's very important you use HRT.  I agree with everything Taz has said.  I do hope the gynae will be supportive.  Do not underestimate the impact the lack of oestrogen has on your physical and mental wellbeing. 
My sister is a nurse and I find her very harsh about anything associated with 'quality of life issues' such as meno symptoms.  You work in the so called 'caring profession' but unfortunately this often hardens the people within the profession because they are under so much pressure and need to be thick skinned.
Just remember, you won't be any good to anybody unless you are feeling well - your health is everything.  If you feel you need some time out to recharge your batteries then 'take time out' but don't feel guilty.  If you keep going feeling dreadful you will only end up really ill and need even more time off.
Keep posting DG x

[Michelle3004]

Thank you for your support it's a difficult and lonely time x

[CLKD]

I worked in the NHS as a secretary and 'they' would have had us on commodes ……….. I never felt guilty about taking time off for ill health as one can only be helpful if one feels well!  I had terrible period pains/clotting so *had* to take time off 

Like pregnancy and periods, menopause is 'natural' but the symptoms can be over-whelming at times.  Be kind to you! Take a list to your Appt. and work through your queries with the Consultant: (not in the same Hospital?): and do sign yourself off - the patients will still be there but if you ruin your health you risk feeling ill for a very long time 

Have a read of the menus, left of screen.  The Consultant will probably write to your Occupational Health Dept about time off if you so wish 

Let us know how you get on!

[Michelle3004]

Once again thanks for all the advice. I work in a gp surgery so not hospital setting
I never have any time off but still feel guilty

[CLKD]

Maybe have a chat with the girls in your Surgery, explain that you are feeling increasingly unwell and that you will be taking time off.  After all, if you had surgery you would need a recovery period.  So cover arrangements would need to be made.

You may find that they are already aware of the fact that you are unwell but haven't liked to mention it ……

   …….keep a journal to share with ladies in the surgery at a later date ……….

[Limpy]

The response that I am getting from work is oh well these things happen which makes me feel 10 times worse

Yes - these  things do happen but usually not when you are 36.
Look after yourself, your job must involve a lot of standing and would be hard work for anybody.

Lots of hugs    

[Hurdity]

Hi Michelle3004
 
Just to say from me too and do take care of yourself

Hurdity xx

[CLKD]

I had a thought! if you work for a Surgery that seems to be sympathetic to you, how are they with patients!    Also, the Surgery should be aware that ladies do have early menopause ………. you get yourself sorted and then educate those you work with 

[tiger74]

Simple answer to the question posed in your subject field:
"Yes"

Longer answer...
You know your body and what you can manage and along with your specialist you can decide whether some time off sick will be helpful.  Hopefully as you are an NHS employee you have good sickness pay arrangements so won't have the additional financial worry which affects many people taking time off work. 

I'm worried that they may think I am over reacting
 

 
I'm interested in who you refer to as "they".  Is this your colleagues?  As you no doubt know, if a doctor signs you off work then no-one can argue with that.  Furthermore, your colleagues do not even need to know the reason unless you choose to tell them, as this should certainly not be divulged to them by the person who processes the sickness from work paperwork.  Why tell them - is it really any of their business? 

I've several periods off work in the past few years (foot op, thyroid issues and cancer).  Having had very little time off previously, I too had feelings of guilt and hated being off work.  Looking back I went back too early and wish I'd looked after myself by having longer off work. 

Do what feels right for you.  You have an important job but the world of work will go on without you.

I wish you luck with your appointment and with a healthy recovery from how you're currently feeling.

[Michelle3004]

Thank you tiger74

'They' are yes management I have confided in a trusted gp who is concerned about me, it was my lead nurse who commented when I devastated that I got the blood results I did not want by saying you always knew this was going to happen. I asked for some space and that hasn't happened and now I just feel like I should just be getting on with it and not making a fuss 

[tiger74]

I'm sorry to hear about how your lead nurse is making you feel. 

Best wishes to you for your consultation today.  Maybe think carefully about whether you actually share the details of what's discussed with anyone at work.  As I said before, they really don't need to know.  What "they" (your lead nurse and anyone else at work) don't know, they can't make dismissive hurtful comments about.

Reading back through the comments on this thread I realise that you're getting conflicting advice from different people with some suggestion that you could gain support by discussing it all with work colleagues.  I realise that when working in a healthcare setting (as I have done in the past) it can be considered normal to talk about all sorts of details about one's own/one's family's (and everyone else's) health issues.  However, it is your choice whether to do this or whether you strive to be private and circumspect.  Sharing details with your lead nurse has already made you feel "frightened", "worried", "guilty", "like I should just be getting on with it and not making a fuss  "  Would sharing more details with him/her and others at work just lead to more of these feelings?
   
If at a later date you use the experience to keep a journal, educate others etc. that's entirely up to you but I really don't see it as part of your remit to do this.

In my opinion, your remit right now is to look after yourself.  I hope you manage to formulate a plan for a way forward to help you feel better.   

[Dancinggirl]

hi Michelle
I have experienced very inappropriate and unfeeling comments from a practise nurse.  The GP practise I go to is generally very good but on one occasion I had my annual HRT check with a particularly nurse who was frankly 'out of order'. At the time I was extremely tired and rather depressed (money,family and work worries) and shared this with her - well, what a mistake - she questioned why I had bought a house in an expensive area (we bought a wreck really cheap at the bottom of the market in the 'non you' part of this area), implied that I was only taking HRT to look younger and when I was upset that I had put on a few pounds proceeded to give me a lecture on how to loose weight!!!! This nurse was extremely overweight so was really not the one to advice about weight loss!!! Her final words to me were " go and have a nice hot bath with some scented candles" - overall she was incredibly patronising and unkind.  I went home and cried my heart out she had made me feel so dreadful.  Needless to say I refuse to see her again.
Keep posting on this site - you'll get plenty of support and empathy.  You take care.  DG xxxxx