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[pinkgirl]

Hello lovely ladies ...I've already learned so much from reading other posts.
I'd really appreciate any suggestions, words of experience..

Me, 49. No period for 18 months. Over the past 4 years have had anxiety, muscle aches, libido died a death, skin feeling like somebody sucked the juice out and on waking, instead of feeling happy to meet the day, just feeling flat. Oh and rages. I get a flash of rage over quite minor frustrations, have broken hoovers, smashed internet routers ...at times I drive my car repeating expletives like a mantra...

Help!

I battled (really) to try HRT. Started on Evorel Conti patches which did help (used for 5 weeks) my mood but the bleeding worried  me so I got referred to the local Meno Clinic where a very nice female doctor prescribed Tibilone and Vagifem cream. I have a family history of breast cancer so I totally understood why she gave me Tibilone and was very excited at the thought of getting my sex drive back!
So far ..yes some sensation and lubrication has returned. I'm 5 weeks in. Breasts have more sensitivity.
Should I be thankful that at least there is some improvement?
Well I am but feel this can't be it surely!!
Where's my old zest for life, never mind the sex, just looking forward to another day would do for now.
Can't orgasm. Feel a sort of deadening has come over me...like I need to eat a hot chilli pepper to feel a zing of any kind. ???all hormonal.

Can anyone suggest anything?
I'm sure there was a feelgood factor to the patches which were more estrogen based. But I didn't notice any improvement in libido.

Merci beaucoup

pinkgirl x
 

[Dancinggirl]

Hi and Welcome
You need to give things time I'm afraid.  I tried Tibelone and found it very good but i started to get nasty acne (I've always been prone to acne ) so moved onto other HRTs. It's good you've been given Vagifem as I was never given local oestrogen for the discomfort i was getting in my fanny area even though I was on systemic HRT and I'm now getting all sorts of problems from Vaginal Atrophy(I'm now 58) - whatever you do keep using the Vagifem.
If anything gets the sex life back on track it will be Tibolone and breast tenderness should settle down but this is a typical side effect of HRT.
The psychological effects of the meno are many and varied.  Coming to terms with 'The Change' is part of the battle.  HRT will help with the battle but I do think we need to be realistic and possibly reassess our lives in the here and now and move forward in a positive way.
Hopefully others will be along with more advice. DG x

[Rowan]

I find my zest for life , then it goes, then I find it again and so it goes on, I think that's life.

[Sarah2]

I agree with DG about looking at your whole life. One thing you ought to do is daily aerobic exercise- for the endorphins and there is some evidence is also helps libido- men's testosterone levels rise a lot immediately after exercise.

I think sometimes we might lump together meno symptoms and non-physiological 'mid life crisis' thoughts or behaviour.

What did you used to look forward to? Do you have fulfilling work? If not, is there anything you'd like to do instead even if you have to re-train? Do you have goals and dreams no matter how small?

I can only speak for myself- and accept this may not apply to you - but I added new qualifications at 50, then at 55 started a third part time career which I had wanted to do since I was 18. Workwise, I'm extending myself in new ways which I feel keeps me on my toes.

I've been lucky to find a type of HRT that suited me from the word go, and I feel more energetic than I did in my 40s when I was juggling children and work.

I'm not dismissing how you feel, but give the HRT time to work but at the same time think about what makes you  happy and see if you need to make any changes.

[Joyce]

HRT can take anything up to 3-4 months, before you feel all the benefits.

Breast tenderness can be helped with starflower capsules, which have no less than 200mg of gamolenic acid. Helped me anyway & was recommended.

Zest for life comes & goes, even with HRT. Depends on other life events not just meno. Unfortunately a lot of these things happen around the same time.

[pinkgirl]

  Thanks so much for your messages.

Yes Dancinggirl I think you're right. It's a huge time of change and one I feel so ill prepared for! My mother died young and I've never had conversations about what a peculiar old time this is for us/ how long it lasts/ if things get better. At least being able to learn that other women are equally baffled by the ways our minds and bodies deal with menopause is reassuring!

Thanks Sarah2 for your questions about dreams and goals. I know they are important and yes i still fantasize about ways of being more creative, giving up my job and doing voluntary work in Costa Rica, writing fiction for teenagers...

All suggestions have been helpful.
I guess i feel sad because my body felt so comfortable and "me" and having a hot bath or nude swimming felt fantastic.

Now i feel like my sensors aren't working...

But you're right. This isn't just physical.
I must enter the chrysalis, be open to change and new opportunities and see what comes out the other side!

x