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[Rowan]

I have only known men who have been Service men, even OH was in the Airforce, my brothers are ex service men, they are trained to be disciplined and to be able to survive and look after themselves, domestically too.

Perhaps having wives and partners can make some men too comfortable. 

 

[honeybun]

My hubby is more than capable of looking after himself. He had lived on his own for many years before we met. It's the things like hoovering that he does not see but he does see loads of things. He empties bins and dishwashers without prompting.

I don't ask him to do lots of things like ironing and cleaning the bathroom but he does not ask me to cut the grass or clean the car or any heavy stuff.
Division of labour.

My sister and her hubby have what they call a "huffty list" Things they have to do. He gets his and she has hers. They have been married for 40 odd years and it works for them.


Honeyb
x

[groundhog]

Thank you all so much for your replies.  It is so helpful.  My oh is a debit of a dinosaur albeit a nice cuddly one lol.  But yes I do have to spell things out and having read your replies I can see I am not alone.  Our life had changed and like you honeybun I don't cope too well with the change so I suppose I am hyper sensitive and feel to need I have some kind of control over my life.  I probably expect him to just know what needs doing but he clearly doesn't.  He does the ironing ( he is ex navy ) but he doesn't do much else unless I leave a list.  Apart from taking the bottles to the recycling bin  And anything to do with electrics, the pond and the cars.  I think I get tired and grumpy and then when I come home and find him on his ipad and there is loads to do, I flip!  Compared to what some women go through my life is good.  I think the lack of intimacy doesn't help - he gets grumpy and so do I - we have probably all been here and I think for us anyway when there is intimacy he is far less tetchy. 
Today has been another mad day.  It's half term so I help with my sisters boys too,  I took my mother to get her glasses sorted and everything with a wheelchair is difficult sometimes.  Or maybe it's me - I need a sense of humour - need to let it all wash over me and think and focus on the positives in my life.  But the meno doesn't help - my husband asks when will it end and I'm not sure about that one.  Soon hopefully - thanks for allowing me to share all this with you ladies - have a lovely peaceful Easter 

[CLKD]

Mine would never think to put out the bins unless reminded  ……… but when asked, he will do stuff