Hi twins2 and welcome back.
I hope I can help you with this. My son was diagnosed with a Primary Language disorder and within the Autistic spectrum when he was 4 years old - so I can really understand what you are going through. I do hope you are getting good support and help over this - I know things can be very patchy with regards to Special Needs depending on where you live. My son is now 24 and is doing extremely well - he has far exceeded our expectations - every child is different.
I would never tell any parent what they should or shouldn't do, however, if you need a sounding board please email me via this site and I would be happy to help if I can - only another parent who is going through or has been through this can truly understand.
Now to deal with your menopause symptoms: Just like you, my meno reared it's ugly head just as I was going through the trauma of coming to terms with my son's problems - so in effect you are getting a double whammy health wise. I was feeling awful; sweats, joints aching, dreadful headaches and my periods went from being sporadic to non existent in just 6 months. I was driving my kids to and from school in floods of tears - frankly I was on the verge of a breakdown. I was lucky, I had a good GP. I went to see her about the fact my periods had stopped and simply dissolved in an emotional heap in front of her. She listened and simply said "if I was her daughter she would advice me to see a therapist to help deal with my distress and insist I take HRT to deal with the meno symptoms." I just did as I was told - I knew I needed help. This was over 20 years ago now and I believe she saved me from a total breakdown. HRT has come a long way since then and treatments are better.
I hope you have a good GP? If not can you be referred to a meno clinic?
If I were you I would definitely try HRT - you need your body to be as stable as possible. Flushes, night sweats and sinus problems are typical meno symptoms. The terrible heartburn will probably be stress related. The most important thing for you at the moment is to look after yourself - your girls need you to be on top of your game.
Perhaps start on a lowish dose e.g Femiston or better still bio-indentical Transdermal HRT which would be Oestrogel or oestrogen patch for the Oestrogen part of HRT together with Utrogestan (micronised progesterone) to protect the uterus.
Hopefully others will be along with help and advice soon.
WE are here to listen and support so keep posting. My thoughts are with you. DG xxxx
