Well,have been quietly suffering for a few years now,I am almost 48,I reckon it all started a good few years ago,as many as 5i would say but only now am I realising how bad this blooming part of my life is and going to get.
![Angry >:(](https://www.menopausematters.co.uk/forum/Smileys/extended/angry.gif)
I have been reading quite a bit on here after having it recommended by my new doc and I see that there are people with much worse problems than myself.
I have all the usual symptoms,the flushings,the period problems,the aches in joints and muscles,some respiratory issues,weight gain,the diminishing sex life- all these I can cope with but oh my the emotional side,the feeling of no confidence any more,the feeling of being worthless in this life-what is it all for,why am I even on this earth etc,the rollercoaster of emotions,tears,tears and did I mention tears??I read about irritability also-yep,have that,in fact I now realise how often I have been thinking things and never expressed them and now the thoughts are coming out as words,I have called people some terrible names,said some terrible things and all day long I keep thinking WTF-normally I can keep all this inside but I just can't now-is this all part of the menopause??I have also found some fears that I have never ever had,a sudden feeling of panic when driving over large bridges-I have never been scared of heights,the opposite in fact-I have always been a daredevil and now I get terrible panic attacks when I drive over one-what the heck is going on? I do feel depressed,I went to doc and just couldn't bring myself to talk about that side of all of this as I will just start bubbling and I don't know if I will be able to stop myself from becoming a stereotypical hysterical wreck.All advice is welcome.I have tried the black cohosh,the serenity cream,diet changes and these feelings are still with me and that is my biggest worry-that these feelings won't leave me.