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[catherine21]

Hi ladies

3rd week on patches and every morning I still feel like I'm going to die!!!! It's the anxiety, and I constantly tell myself this as I'm getting ready for work. How I go to work I don't know. Still not sleeping which doesn't help, just feel awful. Things usually improve as the day goes on and i have to remember this, however every day is a slog. I'm having blood test tomorrow for thyroid just to rule that in or out. So, am I being impatient and is this a gradual thing. Any words of wisdom would be sooo appeciated.

[CLKD]

Anxiety can be a killer.  I think maybe, once the thyroid function tests return, you should ask for an anti-anxiety drug, i.e. Valium for a short while to kick it into shape.  I hated that anxiety surge first thing, I get better as my commitments during the day get done.  By evening I'm a difrerent person even with a Beta-blocka at night.  I also take an anti-depressant which is for life.  When really ill with anxiety I have another emergency drug.

[catherine21]

Thanks CLKD - The thing is I already take valium and have since my bereavements.... I have just reduced (3 weeks ago) from 4mg to 3mg; I suppose this could be contributing, however I want to get off it or at least not take it every day, just in emergencies. Can a dodgy thyroid cause anxiety? I think circumstances are just difficult for me at the moment. I am at work, so I need to recognize this, I just want my life back ie. where I'm constantly concerned how I'm feeling, also I'm seeing occ health today so again this could be contributing. I just don't want to pin too much on these patches solving everything but then again being peri menopause could be a lot of my problems. Ive read where some women have felt so much better after only 3 days. This is truly the hardest time in my entire life 

[CLKD]

   you mention bereavements.  This can add to any misery we already feel due to hormones! Would you like to tell more about this aspect?  Maybe not stopping Valium until the New Year might take some stress out of your situation.  Were you taking this daily? 

Thyroid function can cause all types of problems, weight gain/loss, eating more/less ......... it is after all, another hormone which regulates the body until it goes heywire!  As can all those other hormones which affect our well being. 

You won't get back to where you were, this time of Life isn't called 'the change' for nowt.    .......... Hopefully your Occupational Health chat will ease your mind, try to point out that this is not within your control and ask for assistance if appropriate.  Keep scheduling appts with OCC until you get a resolution.  You can leave but you cannot be sacked - your Company should have a procedure in place for illness.

Let us know how you get on!

[catherine21]

Hi again,

Had my occy health meeting and it went well, she was supportive and it has put my mind at rest. It's just drained me
My bereavements were last year - my sister who was 43 with 3 daughters, died of a brain tumour, she was only diagnosed 5 days before she died so it was a major trauma. My Dad died 3 months later unexpectedly, I believe as a result of losing her. I've never lost anyone before and this has been so hard. Maybe I was already peri menopausal before and this has just made it worse.
I do take valium every day and I will stay where I am until after christmas now.
You say I won't get back to what I was? I know I have lots of adjustments to come to terms with, but I hope I won't feel like this forever - feeling afraid, anxious and out of sorts. Are you on HRT and if so deos it help? Thanks for replying to me   

[CLKD]

You are welcome!  You have had a LOT to contend with    ........... be kind to you.  Do you have a Mum still living? Were you and your sister friends?

CRUSE are a very good bereavement support charity, you may like to contact them for support.  They are run by people who have been bereaved.  You can take their support at your own pace.

As for Valium, with all that is going on and with your GP's advice, I would continue until the New Year.  Then wean off gradually until you can use it on an 'as necessary' basis.  I did so for years: the evening before an 'event' and sometimes that particular morning enabled me to cope.  Deep breathing relaxation techniques helped also as does Rescue Remedy.

Your adjustments will be gradual : "the change" is that, a drop off of oestrogen followed by side effects, not every one suffers though  but anxiety does seem to be a bummer for many ladies.  HRT does help some, I use a pessary to cure vaginal atrophy  but not oral medication.  My biggest problem is itchyness  . 

Glad that the OCC meeting went better than feared, have you scheduled any coping strategy for your work situation?  If you are worried don't wait for her to come to you, better to make a list and arrange an appt., that way you have some semblance of control.

Browse round .........   

[Hurdity]

Hi again catherine

Sorry to hear things still haven't improved yet - as long as they haven't got noticeably worse since starting the combi patch, then you need to persevere with the HRT, hard though it is.

It may well be that the dose isn't high enough for you (maybe I said this on your other thread?) to feel really well - and if so you would be better off taking separate oestrogen and progesterone so that you can adjust the dose yourself ie Estrogen patches and micronised progesterone (least likely to cause anxiety).

There will be a dose and an HRT type that suits you - but if your anxiety continues despite everything then maybe in your case it is not hormonal, and as you said due to still grieving and the shock of what happened. However I wouldn't despair yet, although if you are feeling bad every morning, that is difficult to cope with.

Take care

Hurdity x

[CLKD]

Even knowing that those awful feelings would dissipate during the day never helped because of the physicality of the anxiety surges; which was something the Psychologists - and I saw many  - just didn't get    .......... little steps and keep posting!

[andius]

Seems you should be getting some relief soon! I don't think you are expecting too much.

Maybe consider giving the doctor a call or go in to see them if another weeek goes by with no improvement.

Andius

[SalW]

Hi Catherine,

Just read your posts.  So sorry you are having such an horrendous time.  I lost my Mum and Dad within 4 months of each other in 2011.  I was ok for a few months then started with terrible anxiety.  I was on Valium for 6 months.  I am now doing much better from an anxiety point of view.  You will get there.  Your body has had such a shock and then coping with hormone fluctuations just makes it a whole lot harder. 

I thought I would never feel my old self again but I did, it just took a little time.  I hope you start to improve soon.  Hope the hrt kicks in and supports you soon too.

I have been perimenopausal for about 4 years and lately my palpitations have got really bad and hot flushes several an hour.  I have therefore just started hrt and I took my first pill last night!

Take care and know you can come out the other side of this.

Sal x

[catherine21]

Thank you all so much for your support, everyone is so lovely on this site.

CLKD - Yes my Mum is living, she has just been over. She appears to be coping well, she is made of strong stuff unlike flakey me. She keeps her emotions inside, which is just her way of dealing with it. Me and my sister were very close for many years and then had a major fall out for a bit. We were just re establishing our relationship when she died which has made losing her even harder.

I should have changed my patch today (2nd combi one) however I have not put a new one on as the last couple of days I have felt really low so I am a bit concerned it was the progesterone causing this - who knows. I have had a blood test today for thyroid and a few other things so I have decided to wait and see what the outcome of this is before I decide to continue. Don't know if I've done the right thing   the thing is I don't know what is causing what.

Sal - That must have been devastating to lose both parents, my Dad was my rock and it doesn't matter how old you are you are still their 'child' and it's crushing to lose one let alone two. I know what you mean about been ok for a few months after as I was the same when my sister died; then it was like a brick wall -the panic attacks and anxiety. It's so reassuring when others who have been through similar tell me I will get there as sometimes I feel like I will be like this forever and I'm confused as to what is grief and what is hormones. Maybe the hormones were going haywire before and this has just made it worse???

Hurdity - I take on board what you have said and I value your 'expert' opinion. I think I'm very nervous about side effects ie depression, anxiety as I have been struggling with these since my bereavements. I understand that it is part of grieving only I want to move forward (I have 2 children) and have already had a nightmare with antidepressants.

Sorry for the long rambling post, sometimes I feel so selfish with my problems as others are having/had a hard time too. Thanks again xx 

[CLKD]

Catherine - it's here that we can vent, rant, moan, support  .  Grieving takes it's time.  There is no 'right' amount of time to get through it.  Try not to look too far ahead.  Making sure that your Mum isn't being strong for you rather than allowing herself to grieve is important.  This next few weeksmay well be difficult   

[JJ]

It's very difficult, bereavement and menopause at the same time, this happened to me losing my parents within four months of each other and I honestly felt I was coping well, and then symptoms began, blood tests confirmed peri menopause and I really went down hill.

Very difficult indeed. Sending good wishes to all those ladies suffering xx

[SalW]

Thanks Catherine for your kind thoughts and understanding.  I think it is so difficult to tell what is grief and what is peri.  You are doing great, just hang in there!

JJ Sorry to hear that you have had a similar experience losing your parents so close together.  I thought you using the word suffering does sum it all up perfectly.  I do feel like my body and mind is torturing me sometimes and it is horrible.

Sending positive thoughts back to all you lovely ladies,

Sal x