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[Dancinggirl]

How do we get the best out of our doctors? I thought it would be good to collate advice from everyone to help those who struggle with doctors appointments. I am sure I am not alone in coming away from a doctors appointment feeling demoralised because I didn't feel I had truly tackled the problems I had.

So many women seem to be 'Stone Walled' by their doctors when they ask for HRT and with the right approach we could possibly get a more positive outcome. I've read some posts where ladies have recommended strategies for dealing with a visit with a GP/Specialist.  Sometimes just asking the right questions or quoting particular research from British specialists could encourage the doctor to keep an open mind re: HRT.
When I'm dealing with doctors for family members e.g when my poor mother-in-law was deteriorating with Dementia, I am like a lioness with her cub.  I can be calmly assertive and if need be put everything in writing which basically forces the doctor to pay attention.  When I go to the doctor for myself I often become a blubbering wreck and can barely form a sentence.
Any suggestions ladies please?
DG x

[bev567901]

Ditto I also need to know how to handle it too but I also need to know what HRT to ask for too for my individual symptoms as we all experience things differently. My youngest daughter has a heart condition & I was so focused when they got her meds wrong as a baby but I always sorted it like some amazing woman who was not going to listen to people who I knew where wrong. When it comes to ourselves we tend to be a bit limp but thats probably because we don't feel well  bev x

[CLKD]

The worry of not being listened to or understood can cause us to feel awkward.  Having a chat with the Practice Nurse or Pharmacist at the Surgery might be a starting point, i.e. ' does the surgery have a policy with regards symptoms of menopause?'  I take a list and go through it with my PN or GP to make sure that we are not missing anything and then try to deal with the important issues first.

[Hurdity]

I agree with CLKD re the practice - I would find the GP who specialises in menopause in the first instance.

I would then read up as much as possible and ask lots of questions on here.

Then write everything down so that in the heat of the moment (maybe literally!!) you don't forget - and then be sure you know absolutely the reasons for your choice so that you can sound confident.

Try to anticipate what they might say: for example if you are late fifties - make sure you read all the info re safety and risk - often put very simply on this site in the info on the left - huge amounts of useful info. Make sure you can counter their argument if you know it's out of date.

Maybe print-off some of what's said eg the section on risk (green menu) or the latest paper.

Make sure you know what you mean eg by bio-identical HRT, or progesterone rather than just ask for this - because of the connotations with American "bio-identicals" that some private/alternative practitioners may use. Really be prepared to argue your case.

Make sure you know whether you should have a conti HRT or a cyclical one. Don't be prepared to accept what they say if they try to give you something different from what you ask, and you know what you are asking is reasonable. Make sure you know what the different types contain. Print off the info under HRT preparations which gives all of this.

It sounds like a lot - but it pays dividends. Practice replying to some of the things that might be said to you (just like if you had to give a talk or go for an interview).

If you have had problems and come away disappointed even after a second visit then consider e-mailing Dr Currie for her advice - a bargain at £15 a question, and then print it out. Ask her if you can quote her reply on here for the benefit of other women going through the same thing.

Above all - don't give up - if some of us have been successful - then eventually you will be too!! But - it might be slightly tricky road....

Hope this helps

Hurdity x

[Dancinggirl]

Great stuff Hurdity & CLKD.
Going in armed with all the info you need is crucial.
Sometimes I feel so nervous, often having waited ages in the waiting room, that even if I've written everything down I find I'm not really taking anything in.

There was a post from someone on this site who gave some very good examples of how to phrase a question or make a request to the doctor which kept things non confrontational. 
I think doctors can be used to people blindly taking their advice and never questioning it.  Doctors are human and need to feel they are offering the best for their patients so if we go in all guns blazing telling them their job this could put their backs up. I know many doctors hate when patients say they did research on the internet and will very patronisingly say " you shouldn't believe what you read on the net."

A couple of other thoughts: 
Try to make a longer appointment so you have time to discuss things properly?
Perhaps take a friend or relation into the appointment who can back you up and if you loose your nerve will step in to help?

Anyone got examples of questions or useful phrases we can use?

I hope those ladies who are not getting what they need from their doctors are tuning in to this?
DG x

[honeybun]

I have always found building a relationship with your GP really helps. They are there to help us and I have always found that mine are willing to discuss various treatment options.
They are just people, but they are people who have studied long and hard to get where they are.
A list, and a non confrontational attitude goes a long way to getting a positive result.


Honeyb
X

[Dancinggirl]

Honeybun - I agree with you completely.
I have had very mixed experiences with doctors, some have been great and others truly awful - as I know many on this site will share.
It's hard to sit in front of a doctor with nothing really wrong with you, other than exhaustion from lack of sleep, constantly drenched in perspiration and a burning fanny, to be told that he/she won't give you HRT because they believe it is too dangerous.  It can take quite a lot of guts to stand your ground. Menopause is not a confidence booster.
DG x

[CLKD]

I could never buy sanitary protection when I was having a period, even pretending it was for a friend  ...... how hormonal is that!  If a GP suggests that one should not be on treatment because of this/that/other ........ ask him/her for a longer appt so that you can talk this through.  Tell the GP that you are interested in lots of opinions so that you can make a considered choice ;-)

[Dancinggirl]

CLKD - there's something about hormones and female health problems that is still very taboo.

I have been very open with my daughter from a young age about all health issues but in her early teens she was worried about her periods so I just made an appointment with the GP, went in with her initially to make sure she was comfortable and explaining things well to the doctor and then left so she could talk about things she may not want me to hear.  I desperately wanted her to handle her doctors visits well and feel confident to discuss things.  Fortunately things went well with that visit and I think she is reasonably confident about seeing doctors now. 
What I think I did achieve was that she now feels she can come to me & ask whether she should see a doctor about any health issue.

I hope this post is helping anyone out there who finds seeing a doctor challenging whether it is about HRT or any health issue? 
DG x