I am supposed to be an intelligent woman - I spent far too many years at university trying to achieve this status to suddenly find I want to give it all up after only a few years!! So my shock and horror when I discover that I no longer care about the job I thought was amazing only last year has left me questioning my very sanity and everything I thought I stood for.
I have always been opinionated apparently but now even I think I am rude. I have never thrown anything in rage in my life yet I have come so close recently to throwing something at people, not just walls.
My knees hurts, my shoulder frozen, and wrist has pins and needles. I cannot remember the last time I managed more than 4 hours sleep and I am anxious about the fact that I am anxious - yet there is no logical reason for it. I am running to the loo every hour, am constantly hungry and cannot be bothered to do anything other than stare at the TV or play aimless computer puzzles. I have the attention span of a gnat and the memory of a goldfish. If i was my boss i would sack myself - in fact I wish he would then I would have something else to worry about and could justify the anger and rage I seem to be feeling.
I feel very alone and I am only 46. I left my partner earlier this year, the kids have grown and flown, and for the first time in my life i am living on my own and independent. So just when my life was beginning I am knocked for six.
It seems this is the menopause......It is like childbirth, nothing can prepare you for it and nobody seems to talk about it. My doctor recommended this website last week and it is now my home page - without it I am not sure I would have coped. I have learnt so much and seen how so many have coped. I don't know who I am at the moment and am not sure I like who i seem to have become so if there is anyone who can help I would be grateful
Lost and bewildered
