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[honeybun]

Not really sure what to say but it could be something that's easily sorted.
It's so difficult to see the person who brought you up so very vulnerable.

 

Honeyb
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[Joyce]

Sorry to hear that Greyhoundgal. Doesn't surprise me that her surgeon hadn't been informed. You'd think somebody would have, but unfortunately it's quite common. I hope that whichever of your sisters is visiting tonight can give you a better report on her condition later. 

[Greyhoundgal]

The sister that went yesterday said Mum was still mostly asleep during her visit.  She went in the afternoon hoping Mum would be a bit more awake.....I had a call from the physio dept yesterday, they'd managed to get Mum out of bed and into a chair (it took three of them to do it) and she wanted to check with me about Mum's mobility in general as they wanted to work on her so that she could transfer from bed to chair on her own.  When I mentioned that we were looking at short-term respite care she said they'd take a step back then - I almost exploded!!!  I asked her why it wasn't important if she was going into care but she seemed unable/unwilling to answer me.  Then told me that if she went home she'd be fine as she'd get three care visits a day - how on earth they think she's supposed to manage on that is totally beyond me.  Other sister is going over today and I'm going tomorrow.  Youngest sister is off next week so she's going to try and get an appointment with the hospital social worker to get Mum properly assessed.  Physio also asked if we'd discussed any of this with Mum - er, no - she's been barely conscious since last Friday!!!  I've already started to research the care facilities in our neighbourhood - there are two really good ones quite close by so will attempt to go and visit them this weekend and have a chat with them.  Mind you, I can't see Mum coming out any time soon the way she is at the moment.

[Joyce]

Not what you wanted to hear. Surely whether or not your mum needs respite care, she should still get physio. Mobility is so important. Your mum needs proper assessment. It may take a while, took weeks for my FIL to be assessed. In the meantime we looked at care homes, only for him to be put in the first one available. Certainly not the one we wanted him in. But think hospital just wanted him out of the way. Terrible we have to fight for such things. He stayed in that home as moving him would have been too confusing for him.

[Rowan]

Its awful Greyhoumdgirl, it does seem as if they are only interested if freeing up beds, put up a fight! they hope people don't do this.

[Greyhoundgal]

My sister has been speaking to the hospital and has got things sorted!  Physio and OT will continue and Mum has been referred to the Social Worker there as well.  She was actually very ehelpful and has come up with some good suggestions.  Little Sis is meeting up with her next week for Mum's assessment.  Mum's levels are still very low, apparently it takes a lot longer to get them back up than it does for them to drop.  I'm going over to see tonight and one day next week my sister's and I are going to meet up to have a proper discussion about the best thing for Mum when she does get discharged.  I suspect it will be a very emotional meeting, my middle sister has never forgiven herself for not being here when our Dad passed away - she was living in the US at the time and arrived 3 hours after he'd gone

[valiantkate]

Sometimes we just cant be there, I wasnt with my Dad either when he died, I was 'too tired' after work, it took me a while to forgive myself.
His last words were 'dont  worry if you cant be here, I know you love me and I love you.' He died later that week.
Time is a healer. Its hard when roles are reversed and you become the carer/ parent- how lucky your mum is  to have daughters who love her so much.
I shall be thinking of you all. Take care . Valxxxx

[Joyce]

It's true sometimes you just can't be there. I couldn't get down in time when my mum went, so my poor brother had to wait until following morning for me to get there. However, I stayed until after the funeral to help sort stuff out.

You & your sisters can only do your best for your mum, she wouldn't expect anything else. Be kind to yourselves. 

[CLKD]

Sometimes people would rather pass away without family present, certainly it is known that children will 'wait' so that they can slip away quietly.

Hopefully the meeting with the Social Worker will be helpful.

[valiantkate]

I've heard that so many times.

[andius]

Is your mother doing any better this weekend?

Andius

[Greyhoundgal]

Sadly not - she is in an almost vegetative state now, not responding to any of us when we go and visit.  One of my sisters managed to speak to a Dr yesterday when she was there but he said that although Mum was medically a lot better they had no idea why she was now in the state she was in.  I'm waiting for Mum's Dr to ring me back, called his secretary first thing but he's busy most of the day - we seem to be going backwards, not forwards

[Taz2]

So sorry to read this. Do you know what medications she is on at the minute? Also, did they manage to get her sodium/potassium levels sorted out?

Taz 

[Rowan]

So sorry Greyhoundgirl, I do find it hard to believe that they don't know why she has become like this, as Taz says, you should try to find out

 what medication she has been given, very old people respond differently to medication.

I do understand how frustrating and upsetting it is and trying to get information about your mum.

[Joyce]

Sorry to hear that Greyhoundgal! Must be so frustrating for you & your sisters. Hope your mum's Dr phones you soon.