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[Astolat]

Afternoon all,
It's been a while since I posted in this forum; it's lovely to see some familiar names still posting, although of course I'd rather you were all symptom free.
A lot's happened since I last posted on here. I'm having a real struggle at the moment because as well as coping with my menopausal symptoms I'm looking after my Mum at home who's now in the middle stages of dementia.
I've been taking Livial for a while and it's been fantastic to be without the hot flushes...but I get a lot of spotting with it which I could do without. My doctor is keeping an eye on me, I have to go for a hysteroscopy in a few weeks time.
My main problem at the moment is coping with the chronic fatigue. Due to the dementia Mum doesn't sleep much through the night, perhaps two or three hours at the most, then she's on the go all day. I have to watch her like a child and she won't let me have a nap - she starts yelling and banging the furniture if I nod off.
My sister helps out every other day so I can catch up on my sleep but I feel as though I'm sleeping my life away. I have no social life at all because when I'm not with Mum, I'm in bed sleeping. I hardly see my husband or family and our house looks as though a bomb's hit it! I'm not worried about the house though 
Are there any other menopausal carers out there? Any tips on how to cope with the chronic fatigue?
Thanks girls !

[honeybun]

I am also a carer for my 91yr old mum. She is not as bad as what you are dealing with as she still lives in her own home. We have social carers in twice a day and also into shower her. Apart from that there is just me and my sis to do the rest. It's very hard as she is frail, demanding, and sometimes positively  evil.
As she is living with you I am not sure what help you are entitled to. My first call would be her GP and then social services. Can you get her in for respite care. My step father went in for 6 weeks every year to give us a break.
There is help out there but it won't come to you. You will have to source it yourself. Are there any day care centres.
You must remember you and your family.

I know it's a hard question but have you considered a care home.

Honeyb
X

[CLKD]

Respite care is the first option.  So that you can get some much needed sleep.  The family can then sit round and discuss what is best for you.  Otherwise you may find relationships may implode  .

If she is living in your home then social services will do an assessment of her needs: i.e. rails in and out of the house, bath support rails ..... and may recommended a stair lift.  Your Mum may also be entitled to extra care and if she isin your home, do you not qualify for carers allowance? 

Age Concern should be able to help, they have lots of leaflets on all types of considerations as we age.  What support are you getting from the Dementia Society?

[dylan]

i really feel for you , you have help ,every other day , its not enough , though is it , you are takeing the , brunt of things , i dont live with my parents , but i have had , my fair share , of things , not unlike you . have you thought about rest bite , give you a rest maybe (its just a thought ) as regards the whole sleep thing , i do sleep ,most night , but once i wake , its hard to get back to sleep . for you to be takeing care of mom , all day , i can just imagine , how you feel , by the end of the day ((hugs)) i wonder , if you , contact a , care company , they maybe able , to help , you a little . or maybe , go see the dr , mention your position , see , if he can help .

 your main problem , is your mom and takeing care , of her . if you had more time , to your self , maybe things wouldnt seem so bad . i really feel for you