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[Kathleen]

Hello ladies, do any of you fear that your world is shrinking due to menopause problems?  I don't work and have my routines but doing anything different makes me panic. I feel edgey or irritable all day every day, only really feeling better in the late evening and then it's time to think about bed. I'm so fed up with this, I worry what sort of future there will be for me and my family if I continue to feel like this.

I'm nearly 57 and my periods suddenly stopped, never to return three years ago. Anxiety has been the worst symptom and I finally went on HRT three months ago. Recently I've been having sleep problems, not something I've had before and I see that this can be a side effect of the Norethisterone in the HRT I'm on (Climesse).
I have a GPs appointment this week and I plan to ask for a kinder Progesterone.

Sorry to go on but I'm so tired of feeling crap and avoiding things I used to enjoy, I wonder if I'll ever be calm again.
Thanks for reading.
K.

[honeybun]

I could have written this. Yes, over the past year my world has shrunk. Things I used to enjoy just cause me so much anxiety I just avoid them. I have been out for coffee once in a year and never out for a meal. I just panic far too much. I did all my Xmas shopping online as I can't do busy places. So yes my world is smaller and I hate it.

I have come off HRT completely and am on St John's Wort, I have also started to increase my beta blockers and feel just a little calmer.

The only thing that gives me some hope is that my mother went through much the same and came out the other side. She says it just gradually went and week by week she became better.

We WILL get there.

Honeyb
X

[Mini2005]

I know exactly what you mean.  My problems started towards the end of last year and the anxiety was the worst symptom along with bladder problems.

I started HRT in February and gradually started feeling myself again.  I did have a cruise booked for June but the final balance to pay for this was due in March and I daren't pay this in case I didn't feel up to going.  We decided we'd rather lose the 300 deposit than the whole 2500.  We said we would book something else when I felt up to it.

I did feel better by June and July but in the last few weeks my symptoms have started to come back particularly the anxiety.  I still don't feel up to booking a holiday as I'm scared of feeling ill while I'm away.  I go to work and do all the normal things but anything out of routine makes me feel anxious.  I started taking a higher does of HRT a few days ago and I just hope and pray that I can back to feeling like myself again.  Can't cope with feeling like this.

[Kathleen]

Hello Honeybun and Mini 2005.
Oh thank you, thank you, thank you. I don't want others to suffer but it's such a relief to know that I'm not alone in this.
I also dread eating out, it's my birthday this month and I know everyone will suggest a restaurant and I'll have to say I don't want that, talk about killjoy...

Honeybun, it's reassuring to hear your mother's experience, hopefully it will be the same for us all. Fingers crossed.
Take care.
K.

[Mini2005]

I know what you mean about eating out.  It was my 50th birthday in July and I agreed to go out for a meal with my husband, daughter and daughter's boyfriend.  They know I'm not a party animal but said a meal out would be nice.  I wasn't particularly looking forward to it but wanted to get it 'over with' (how sad is that!).  As it turned out, my husband had a flare-up of his IBS and I said we would postpone the meal until he was feeling better.  We ended up with a take-away at home and we still haven't re-booked the meal.

I am really going to treat myself when I get through this - holidays, meals out, who knows !! We should all stay optimistic and remember this isn't going to be forever.

[Kathleen]

Hello Mini2005.
I know what you mean about getting things 'over with' and that is a horrible feeling.
And as for staying optimistic for the future... Amen to that.
Take care.
K.

[Greeneyes157956]

Me too!! Anxious and not wanting to go and do anything out of my comfort zone.i have a holiday booked for end of this week and I'm now beginning to suffer terrible.i have been away twice since meno hit me and each time I felt awful until I got there and then was not too bad.i did have times during the holiday when I became panicky but it passed but was awful whilst happening.I refuse to stop going away etc, we can't let anxiety take control so ladies just try to make small steps, go shopping or for a meal, what's the worse that'll happen?? Nothing,it never does with anxiety just feels like it will at the time.Anxiety is a vicious cycle,you get thinking about it and then become anxious and so on,I find I have to do something  and take my mind of it then I stop thinking about it then I am no longer anxious.it is a terrible time though this menopause journey x

[Suzi Q]

i STILL HAVE THAT FEELING 17yrs later im 59 and i hate going anwhere
I DO I GO away with Bobbles on the bike overnighters or 2 nights away
MOst times Id give anyhting to be at home in my house watching DVDs
BUT I wont give in I dont want to look back at 70 and say I wish Id gone or done that
We are away overnighter in Sept 2 nights in October 2 nights NOvember 4 nights from 27th Dec
All with pal all on the BIKE I go and mostl have a grea time its the getting out
I too rfetired 18mnths ago tried vol work hated it it wqas dead lonely I worked alone
I have my comp my Android my Kindle the mob and phone why go out?
Id done vol work before won an award yes ME from QLD Gov but cant seem to get in to it now
IM happier at home I have to firce myself during the week to go out but I wont give in dont youx

[Kathleen]

Hello Greeneyes and Suzi Q.
Thank you for your posts, it's good to learn from other women's experiences.
I wish there was a cure for menopause!
Wishing you all well and hugs to fellow sufferers everywhere.
K.

[Delilah]

Hi all

Completely understand and sympathise with these horrid feelings you get during menopause. I suffer with anxiety too and at the beginning of my journey couldn't go out the door without hubby. Taking small steps only when i felt ready to has helped me progress to actually going shopping on my own, going out for meals, walking the dog and thinking maybe a holiday would be nice next year ( hubby says a couple of diazepam will get me on the plane if all else fails!!). Its not that i dont want to go its the different routine that sets off the anxiety and feelings of unease.

Its good to hear about others who have gone through this and come out the other end feeling so much better, it gives us all hope.  Can your mum remember how long it took her to start feeling well again honeybun?  Sadly my mother passed away at 64 so by the time all this hit me she wasn't with us to talk to about how it was for her, although dad says she did'nt suffer at all as far as he was aware.  Knowing my mum though she may have kept it to herself or not realised certain symptoms were linked to menopause. Would have given anything to have her here to talk to.

Look after yourselves and your mums.

Delilah x

[honeybun]

My mum is now 91 and a bit vague about exactly how long. I do remember as a child my mum not wanting to go places. Claustrophobia was her thing along with busy places and hospitals. I think it lasted 10/15 years. Not great eh ?

Guess we are all different though.

Honeyb
X

[Lucky Stone]

Whilst I wouldn't disagree that the shrinkage of our various worlds is a reality for many of us - me included - don't you think as well that to a certain extent, we are just more choosy as we get older? I can remember as a teenager absolutely hating discos/clubs but still going along with friends on a Saturday night as I didn't want to be the one sitting at home. Hated it - the evenings used to drag - but it was still better than the alternative. Some of us love socialising, dinner parties, gatherings but some don't. I heard a wonderful line on a tv prog last Sunday - "What Remains" - Steven Mackintosh on being asked to a neighbours' housewarming ... "I've made all the friends I'm going to by now - the rest is just small talk and manners". That summed it up quite neatly for me. I don't want to go round to someone's house for the evening and "chat" over dinner, I would rather be reading or playing music. Or indeed watching the telly. Maybe I have become an anti social old bag, to be honest, I don't actually care. I make the effort if OH wants to go and sometimes I do end up enjoying the evening but often by half ten or so, I am ready to come home and the last hour or so drags.

[CLKD]

Lucky Stone I agree with so much of what you have written  .

My World does shrink sometimes  ........ things I wouldn't have thought twice about years ago (in my teens) now have to be planned to the nth degree.  I am far better doing something spontaneously.

As for meals out - when I say 'no' that's it, if they want to go eat out and think of me that's fine    ...... my choice, their choice - even if it is my birthday 

[Kathleen]

Hello Lucky Stone and CKLD.
I was interested to read what you both said about becoming more choosy with age. I think a source of my anxiety is that I feel so ridiculously guilty if I don't want to do something.
As a child I was expected to put others first and see things from their point of view and even as an adult I would often defer to others and bury my own wishes. I suppose the problem now is that I have to assert myself (because I feel so crappy most of the time) and I'm struggling to find a way of behaving that allows me to do that but doesn't make me panic about letting people down. I guess it's a confidence issue and one of the many changes that menopause brings.
Take care and wishing you well.
K. 

[CLKD]

Women are raised as 'yes' people  - even now ......

I no longer say 'yes' if asked to do anything.  I have taught myself to say 'let me check my calendar and see what DH is doing first'.  I always make sure that if I agree to help out that there is a back up in case I have to visit Mum in a hurry, in case  panic sets in or even in case DH is poorly.  That way I can give up the guilt.  Others' do not depend on me totally in order to life their lives  ......... I never do favours, if something requires doing and I can help, then I will: otherwise I will guide the person to other agencies, yep, even families.  Mum doesn't like it but