my update: Today is the second week of the JOLT ( being told I was no longer in my relationship). I cannot even begin to tell you about all the changes that have transpired. The old saying, out of something terrible, goodness can always be found. I am learning how true that statement really is!
As you all know, through my updates and progressions, I have been on a mission of mercy of myself, for myself, and to myself. A ton of self discovery has taken place, only because I am seeking them out with intent and love. I am learning to love myself more and more each day. There are those small moments of self doubt, perhaps a moment of fear, and emotions comes pouring out. I allow that to happen for a moment, as I can see where my body needs to do that. Then I stop it and find something to balance it all out. It's an interesting cycle and one that is only making me stronger and stronger.
My other half on the other hand is going out to the bar scene every single day or night that is not being consumed by work. I am watching this unfold in front of my eyes and thinking to myself.. wow, what a switch, and for the same reason through me trying to hide my deepest despairs through wine, here the tables have turned. I find that profoundly interesting and yet hard to watch.
I am still trying to do things for myself to keep my hormonal emotions in check.. walking daily, doing some sort of physical exercise to keep the body going. I am doing my vitamins, and B12 and looking out after me. I am surrounding myself with positive people who adore life and are willing to offer themselves in the goodness of mankind. I read ALL the time, uplifting and inspiring words from books and text material online that lift my spirit up. This is really a battle to keep myself up and going.
I still wonder what I am suppose to be doing with my life now... I have not worked in years since I was a housewife and took care of our home and all of our animals, horses, macaw parrots, dogs, etc etc. For now, I am still living under the same roof together and that makes it even hard when you have to watch the other half of your life, act like this breakup is the best thing that's ever happened to them. THAT HURTS! There are moments I feel it so deeply like a knife stabbing at every part of my body and yet, fighting against the hormonal emotions that pop up at any given moment it wishes to, ACK!
I am still on a forward movement to improve the betterment of my life and the quality of my life. Not sure which direction that will be yet, but I am going to welcome it, even if it hurts for a bit, I will still welcome it!
with love
Annie
Author
Topic: Loss of my marriage due to Menopause (Read 39380 times)