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[rebecca]

Recently I have been dreading social scenes more and more. Mostly because I am unable to hold an interesting conversation anymore because of my inability to recall names and places and dates.
I feel a totally boring. My husband loves the social scene and I am totally embarrassed to explain what has happened to me (he is younger than me).

I also find spending time on my own quite enjoyable (I expect for all the wrong reasons).

I can't see how this is going to get better. My 90 year old father remembers more than me!
Any suggestions? Anyone else experiencing this? I am at my wits end.

Thanks
Rebecca   

[Claireylou]

Hi Rebecca,

I know exactly how you feel. Before this journey started I was a complete party animal. We were out every single weekend. But now .... Well now I too go out of my way to avoid social gatherings of any kind. I can't remember names etc so when I try to join in with conversations it all comes out in a spluttering, jumbled mess 

I also don't like the way I look anymore. Bit of weight gain, lifeless hair, spots etc.  I'm really really lucky in that I have a gorgeous husband who completely understands me. I've shown him the advice for husbands thread on here and he's done his own research too and is supporting me all the way.

Maybe sit him down for a chat. Be completely honest with him and you'll probably find him wanting to support you through your journey too 

Claire xx

[JJ]

I get this too, mid conversation it's annoying when you just suddenly forget what you wanted to say. I thinks it's defo a symptom of menopause and hopefully will pass x

[Kathleen]

Hello rebecca.
I feel the same, I lack the motivation to even try and be sociable, it's as if chatting to people and making conversation is a huge effort and I just don't have the enthusiasm anymore. I also feel I want to please myself and not always worry what other people think. Not sure if this is meno or age or just being more selfish/honest? Time will tell I guess.
K.

[CLKD]

Does your Dad remember recent events though?  Short term memory is known to disappear with age, however people can remember events from long, long ago as clearly as though it were yesterday ........ I haven't got that knack either 

[rebecca]

CLKD - He does remember some recent events. I hope I get to the stage of remembering long term events. Long & short term have gone AWOL at present. I use to do an evening class which I enjoyed, the interaction was lovely,  I did not carry on to the next term as My memory was letting me down when it came to reciting information in a group chat session:( I was beginning to feel really stupid..

I think I will try something more artistic perhaps at a local class - flower arranging?
Even keeping a phone number in my head is difficult, I have tried all sorts of tricks.

Rebecca   

[CLKD]

This does pass.  Or we get used to it    ............ I usually tell people that I have a bad memory these days.  A friend and I have total conversations with the 'wrong' words but *we* know what we mean 

[oldsheep]

Hi Rebecca, I'm the queen of the post it note (as in "keys, wallet, phone, travel card" note on my front door as I've been to the shops, loaded stuff on the checkout and then remembered...no wallet).
I think isolation is probably the worst thing for the lack of confidence that being forgetful brings. I do (force myself to do) some sociable classes that have a mixed range of people. The older people are very understanding about being forgetful, including of their names (they often can't remember mine either). Make a joke of it.
Try not to let it shut you off from having fun. X

[Hurdity]

Hi rebecca

While many of us do find this problem beginning as we've got older - not sure if it's age or hormones - if you are finding it such a problem that it is affecting your social situation then I would seriously consider getting checked out - if only to put your mind at rest that you these are not the signs of early dementia, which is extremely unlikely.

You don't say how old you are, or where in meno, whether you are on HRT, how long this has been going on?

It doesn't pass - but maybe HRT prevents the worst of it? I think research has shown the benefits of maintaining oestrogen levels on cognitive functioning and the reverse when they decline.

I am on HRT (age 60) but I do find that even common words for things like "windowsill" or something equally ordinary - escapes me sometimes mid conversation and there is a gap while I try to find the word! As long as it doesn't happen too often it doesn't bother me, but probably would if it occurred frequently.

Hurdity x

[CLKD]

That happens to me several times a day ............ searching for a word   

[Taz2]

I agree with Hurdity that if this is making your life so difficult it should be checked out. The longer you leave it the more isolated you will become and then you will just find it harder to socialise.

Taz x

[Rowan]

Taking a high potency multi vitamin B complex with vitamin B12, I have always taken it and so does OH and we both have pretty good memories

http://www.iqtestexperts.com/iq-vitamins.php

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16917152

Stress and worry can effect memory as well some drugs, especially sleeping pills, vallium etc..

Estrogen certainly enhances memory.

[Tabbycat]

I get the bad memory thing too, although it seems to get better if I do crosswords regularly (I know, it sounds like crosswords would be the last thing you'd want to do!).

I'm rubbish in social situations now, I just can't be bothered any more.

[Elena]

I went through a stage, not  all that long ago, where I really lost confidence at work because of this memory problem.  I have no idea why but suddenly things are much better

I keep a notebook with me to jot down what I need to remember to do, even on days when I am not at work.  At least then I have a list to look through each day so I dont miss anything.

I agree with Hurdity though, do get it checked out if it is affecting you as badly as it sounds.  Avoiding social situations will make matters worse in the long run as you will just get out of practice at conversation and be lonely and isolated.

Have you tried any of the online games you can do to try to improve your memory?  You can sign up for free to try some of them out. I recommend Luminosity.

[honeybun]

My memory is fine but my ability to get the correct word out of my mouth is another matter entirely.
It's there and I know exactly what I want to say it just won't come out. Thingy and whatchmacallit are my favourite words.
The more tired I am the worse I get.

Very annoying, but my ability to remember things is great.


Honeyb
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