It may seem pathetic to others, but to us it's very real. I am just the same.......whereas once I was the life and soul of the party, now I just HATE going anywhere where I can't get up and go if I need to. As I have been 'large' all my life, I wonder if this also stems from that issue. People always think you are fat and jolly, but is it just a front to cover up? I don't like being large, but can never lose weight no matter what I do. I think the change and this hormonal nonsense just exacerbates it all. I have more symptoms than a doctor's handbook, but what keeps me going is knowing that I had a problem like this when I was in my early 20's - nobody could say why. Some counsellors said it stemmed from me losing my father when I was 12 - who knows........ Another doctor said it could be hormonal and when I had gone through the change I would probably feel much better - he was a great help - NOT!!! Anyway, after going on all sorts of medications, beta blockers, prozac, seroxat, diazepam, I ended up being kept on the propanalol hydrochloride (beta blockers) and still take one a day to this day. I did get back to a 'normal' life albeit some 2/3 years later. I then carried on as normal for years. This latest episode came back after losing my father in law - I have a real problem with death and dwell too much on it, I know. I can't think too deeply about it, as I just wonder what the point of life is at all. Anyway, things got worse, the panic attacks and anxiety set in, and I was back to square one - just how I was back in my 20's. So, I am hoping it is all hormonal and that once I metamorphosise and 'change' into this beautiful butterfly, that all the horrible nastiness of the symptoms will go away for good lol..............we will see. No matter what symptoms, headaches, fearful problems, I get - I know I have had them all before, they went away, and I lived on................ let's hope that is the case now xx
