Phone rings.. woman answers.
There is heavy breathing... a voice says" I bet you have a tight arse with no hair!"
Woman says.. "Yes I have... he is watching the football.. who shall I say is calling?"
Convent story...
Mother Superior called all the Nuns to a meeting.
I have an announcement to make....." We have found a case of Gonorrhea in the Convent!".
An elderly Nun from the back pipes up...."Thank God, I am really sick of Chardonnay!"