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[flushtered]

My aunt who I visited today is spending it on her own, after her family have visited in the morning.  She lost her husband earlier in the year and is not maudlin, but she said for the last few years, it had just become another day for them.  Her son and daughter have had a hard time accepting that she won't go to either of them, but it really is what she wants.  I think it must be hard to put on a face for other people's benefit, if you would prefer to be on your own so I'm glad they are allowing her to do this.  Not sure if this post should be here or on the one where CLKD is discussing being at her mums or both 

[san]

Just me, OH and the dog this year. First time ever in 34yrs. TBH im looking forward to it.
DD and family are going to the in-laws and we will see them on Boxing day

[Elena]

Wow Bramble you've no idea how much you've impressed me with your positive attitude.

I used to be absolutely fine at being alone(not at christmas, just whenever!) but over the past decade or so I'm just awful.  I can cope if I know I will be seeing people at some point during the day (if I have work in the afternoon for instance) or if I am absorbed in something (that doesnt happen much these days though..poor concentration) but otherwise I am very depressed. 

You sound so very sorted.   

[pj44]

I am on my own well me and the dog and cat so not quite on my own, and i would love to stay home, but i'm not allowed daughter insists that i go to either her or one of my 2 son's. When i said i really am not bothered about being on my own for christmas day, christmas to me is just alot of stress and far to expensive  she said i was being selfish and she could not live with the guilt of me being on my own.  So i'm going to daughters in the morning and sons to eat.

Have to say though i am like milliemoo i don't really like being on my own and would love to meet someone seems to me the older i have got and more poorly i seem the more vunerable i feel. At times i am very lonely more so in the winter months

How about you bramble do you mind being on your own?

[bramble]

I do on occasion wish I had someone but I think life is a lot less stressful when you are on your own. If I do feel at all lonely I can pick up the phone or go visit a friend - perhaps I cherish friendships more because of it. No close family either so really am home alone. If I was at all bothered about Christmas alone, the I am sure I could go to a friend......... The older I get, the happier I am with my own company. I find people quite tiring........
Bramble

[English Rose]

Bramble
Your post really made me think......I've never been alone on Christmas day and I cannot imagine that, even though in some ways it would be nice just to have a peaceful day pleasing yourself.  I admire you cooking the meal  that's great, I hope you will be OK - I agree with you regarding people being tiring...... when the family are here over Christmas I like to sneak off to bed early sometimes just to have time away on my own.  Take care  ER x

[Firewalker50]

What a nice place to be in Bramble and Pixie.  I recognise that.
I lived on my own with my daughter for 12 years and though I dated, I never lived with anyone.

When I met someone I wanted to share my life with, we decided to live together after a year.
That proved to be very difficult trying to blend our lives, and after 2 years he moved out again.  fortunately, we still see one another and I enjoy having the choice to be on my own or with company.   I also can find it quite stressful and tiring coping with  some family gatherings.

I do sometimes think I have become a bit insular and lazy at home though - and cannot work out if that is because I am out of practice or just tired with demanding job and family responsibilities.  My concern is that this year I am not averse to Christmas but I cannot be bothered with what it takes to get the house organised and get decorations up to take them down a week or so later.   In fact, I know I should have the house organised anyway and this is a reason to force me to do it. 

I would hate to think I was becoming a Bah Humbug though.   Probably just lacking motivation this year.

Fx

[Trey]

Well, guess what, won't be alone after all.  I think I can handle being with friends and will do so. Something has changed.  I'm ready to move on, not all the time, but more and more I'm feeling hope for a future.  A MM member sent me a poem a while back, one of the repeated lines was, "Miss me, but let me go".   My health has been so bad and I finally acknowledge that I'm doing it to myself. 

[Elena]

Wow Trey, well done!   

[Bette]

  Trey.
Bette x

[pj44]

Good for you trey            sometimes it is better to be with others. I do far to much negitive thinking when i am on my own

[Pennyfarthing]

I've never had a Xmas on my own but it sounds quite tempting!  I like my own company and a whole day to myself is something I very rarely have. 
I'm not a big Xmas-fan so if I was on my own I'd have lots of tasty fave things and I'd read, paint and maybe knit.  That would be bliss!  I'd also have to have my daily walk at some point.

[Firewalker50]

So pleased to read your post Trey. Sending you special Christmas blessings.

FX

[Taz2]

Enjoy yourself Trey.

I think that being on your own for Christmas when you are normally surrounded by people and the various tasks you have to do to keep a family up and running can feel very tempting but I reckon it is totally different to being on your own all the time. Even if you are happy on your own the whole family feel to Christmas can, according to a single friend, make you feel a little bit left out.

Taz x

[Trey]

It gets worse.  I've invited a male friend who will be horrified and may never respond.  Of course five days before Christmas is a bit late and 1500 hundred miles a bit far and I've heard he may have met someone, but what the heck. My brain is so tired of mourning and I figured out why.  I've actually been mourning 'what used to be' for six years since Don split a brain artery and had three paralytic strokes.  The five year rehab was a point we thought we had something to celebrate and within one month came the tumour. So I think I just must turn things around.  Hopefully my gut will allow me to drink as I intend to do so!