Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[gilaray]

I think xmas is overrated. The reality is hard work and expense
I suppose if you work full time then you appreciate it more but for me it interferes with my tennis and yoga as well as work
What is xmas dinner anyway? just a glorified roast, and the day itself - always a non event. Going to your relatives and having to stay there far too long.
The week in between xams and new yrs eve is like being in no mans land, I find it quite dull. The worst TV is always on at xmas, no good documentaries only rubbish 'family' entertainment, the decent progs are few and far between
I am entertaining a couple of days though not xmas day thank goodness, its always nice for someone else to do the cooking, still Im having to plan for the days I am cooking and am havng to compile a huge expensive shopping list
The best thing about xmas is the decorations. As a child I always loved looking at all the houses lit up and I still do. Being jewish we never had decs at home but I do now. Last yr I didnt put the tree up as i was so bored of it but this yr I've changed all the decs and have a new colour scheme so Im quite looking forward to it

[Elena]

Well whatever it is you''ve got BoB I have it too

Gilary that is an excellent description - that no man's land week.

[Taz2]

I really like the week in between. The Christmas rush is over and it is time to relax. I usually spend a day at the coast and maybe make a trip up to my parents' grave which sounds morbid but I like to give them some flowers and catch up with my hometown and also call in on a couple of friends for a cuppa before making the journey back. I just find it to be a really good opportunity to chill out before work starts again.

Taz x

[pixie]

I don't like it much, because it seems to be an emotional time, when lots of past memories come up. I tend to think of all the things we have done and how things have changed so much. Its all so commercial, and what is depressing is the way people spend so much money and then end up in debt all year afterwards. One of the things I really dislike about it is the way that people load up their food trolleys as if there is going to be a famine and the same thing happens on boxing day. Peoples greed is pretty disgusting!

[Bette]

I'm with you, pixie. 
Rather than trying to conform and hating it, I just don't "join in" now. Feel much happier that way.
Bette x

[Oldteen]

I'm pleased to hear that so many of you are disillusioned with Christmas!

Like you ER I'd love to go abroad for Christmas, but husband won't hear of it. I'd also do some charity work if I was alone, as I reckon working in a homeless shelter with lots of different people would be much more fun than just the four of us sitting watching the telly and eating, and I'd be doing something for others  worse off than myself which would be good for me too.

It sounds like I don't appreciate my kids but we're together 365 days a year, even on holiday mostly, so there's no reason to look forward to being with them at Christmas; they're not children any more. Maybe if and when they leave home it will be different. That's it I suppose, Christmas is the same, same,  same,  year in year out. Unlike you CLKD  I wish I did have somewhere to travel to, instead of being stuck in the house all day, though I do try and go for a walk on Boxing Day. I'd love to have somewhere to visit, or have someone  visit us!

Yes Gileray, the time up to New Year is a no man's land. That's another thing: you say that you're Jewish; even people from other faiths or no faith at all feel  obliged to join in to some extent, though I suppose nowadays Christmas has very little connection with Christianity.

Pixie, it is an emotional time. You think of the past, grieve for what you've lost, or what you've never had and will never have. All those adverts showing the “perfect” Christmas just make any sadness you feel worse.

Taz, I don't think it's morbid to want to visit your parents' grave if it gives you comfort. Many people do that at this time of year. I never do because my home town where their ashes are buried holds no happy memories for me , I have no-one to visit there and I can't bring myself to go to their grave.  I think  I'd break down, start crying and feel my grief  raw all over again.  Some people may say that in that case I should go and do just that, to let it all out, but I can't.

Thanks for listening and giving all your opinions everyone.

[Rowan]

For you BOB to make you laugh.

[CLKD]

 

[ellie]

 

[changesbabe]

Well I am afraid my mood has taken a bit of a dip around Christmas. Just found out that noone is having my mother in law round for dinner on Christmas Day. She has three sons and one daughter. She is pretty sarcastic and sharp tongued towards me and has been for the 23 years I have been married to her son. However despite that I still have her for dinner every Sunday and took her to Greece with us this year too. I CANNOT bear the thought of her sitting on her own on Christmas Day but do not want to have her to mine. I feel like I have no choice but to invite her as I would not be able to settle knowing she is on her own. Why her own kids don't feel the same I have no idea. We are all going out on Boxing Day so I guess they are all thinking they will see her then - grrrrr!

[Bette]

Are you sure that she minds being alone seeing that you're all going out on Boxing Day, H&S? From the things you've told us that she's said to you in the past, I'd say that it's well beyond duty for you to have her round.  Can't your OH point out to his siblings that it's their turn?
Bette x

[Js]

I can relate to hot&spicy  we have the same prob my mother,in law has 2 other sons but not local so who is the one doing everything for her my other half and me and to say she is fussy is an understatement she has come to us for Xmas for the last 3/4 years and is so predictable and I know I won't cook the dinner to her liking so stress straight away then she falls asleep . I really don't want this anymore but if I say anything then it's me being a grumpy old cow, but why should I ruin my Xmas when it's me doing the catering and preparing. I would love to be somewhere else, doing voluntary work for animals they give me pleasure and probably would appreciate it more anyway and i would feel i would be helping the poor things at Xmas I might just ask our local animal aid . Why should I endure the day to keep everyone else happy I have been married for 35 years have a 15 year old son so he will be on his Xbox all time so my hubby can deal with her . As I'm writing this it sounds like I'm being selfish but I am totally not looking forward to Xmas

M&s

[changesbabe]

She's not saying a word bette - it's me. I don't know how to let it go and not feel guilty. I think because my mum is not alive I probably over compensate - I defo could not cope with my own mum sitting on her own on Christmas Day - OH's family clearly don't feel the same. I am going to leave it for a few days and see if my feelings change - I am not going to say or do anything I might regret. Xxx

[honeybun]

H&S

Its the guilt button...if they dont press it we do it ourselves.

My mother goes to my sisters on Xmas day although she has been asked to me for the past three years. It does not bother me. I did Xmas dinner for years and then 3 years ago called a halt. It took more guts than I really had but I stuck to my guns and just refused. I am happy to see relatives on Xmas day for sherry and shortbread and exchanging of gifts, but thats it. My son told me he hardly remembers seeing me on Xmas day as I was in the kitchen......not no more.

Hate to say this but when my mum is no longer with us I will probably book a cottage in the wilds of somewhere and just go.

Hope you manage to find a solution that suits you.....dont jump in...perhaps one of her family will.

Honeyb
x

[lady57]

I really hope that in years to come my children aren't talking about us like this but we can't foresee how we are going to be when we are old can we, i hope i am not unco operative and difficult but my grandmother and my father both were and i hope i can remember and not be like them  My own mother was a gem, one year she would come to us for christmas day and we went to her for tea on boxing day then the next year she did christmas and we did boxing day. Her last 2 years she was not well enough so she just came to us and she was always such a pleasure to have, i miss her