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[Oldteen]

Excuse me if I posted on this very subject  last year, but can anyone explain why Christmas shopping sends me plummeting into depression? I've just returned home, and am so glad to close the door behind me and to be away from it all. Those shmaltzy Christmas songs that the shops have been playing for about three weeks always set me off on a downer, and last year I remember having to walk out of BHS as I was starting to cry! I don't understand it as although I've lost my parents I still have my husband and kids to spend Christmas with, so I'm not alone. And as for New Year - can't bear it!

I felt okay as soon as I arrived home though. Tried telling my husband how I felt and he just said, "What's the matter with you, you miserable so and so? It's Christmas!"

Is it the outward sign of an underlying sadness, and a feeling of disappointment with Christmas, or life in general?

[Rowan]

BOB I think it an underlying sadness ( that maybe is personal to you) I think we carry the Christmas feeling inside us and if its not there or we lose it, it does make us sad or cynical.

[Bette]

I have no love for Xmas; used to hate it with a vengeance but now just don't care about it. I've done no Xmas shopping -  oh, I did buy Mum's calender several weeks ago which I always do - and have only 3 small presents for friends to buy, all of which are in my Amazon list ready to be ordered. Mum has said she doesn't want anything other than a nice box of chocolates and OH and I have agreed not to bother so that's it done. I don't think it's sad that I don't like it; I think it's over-rated and ridiculously expensive and over-commercialised. We're not religious and have no children so I just don't get it. We'll probably have Mum and p-i-l over for lunch, as long as they're well enough but that's for them, not for us. I don't see any reason to be concerned or embarrassed by feeling like this. We always work NYE anyway so that's another thing we don't bother with. They're just dates on a calender as far as I'm concerned.
Bette x (Bah Humbug and Happy!)

[flushtered]

Do you enjoy Christmas day though BOB?  I feel the same as you about going round the shops with the incessant cheery music playing, but I do really like Christmas day.  I don't think it's a sign of underlying depression, it's just the hassle/stress involved with it all.

[lady57]

BOB i might be way off the mark here but could it be that Christmas and New Year mean the end of another year and you are conscious of time passing by you? i do not know you well but from some of your posts you have mentioned having regrets at not having done more that you wanted to do and wondering if it is too late. Could this be something to do with how christmas and New Year make you feel? Or do you think you might be affected with seasonal affective disorder caused by the lack of natural light at this time of year?

[jax]

I used to work in retail management and so put my lack of enthusiasm down to all the 10pm openings, sunday trading, listening to those bloody xmas songs 9-10 hours a day, every day for 6 weeks,(no day off !) doing xmas stock deliveries in oct...etc etc Oh, and taking xmas displays down on xmas eve befor I could go home to put jan sale stuff up...that WAS MISERABLE!
Then I changed career, it actually took years before I could bare xmas songs in shops. Mum died that year too so its always been sad without her.
Is it winter blues or xmas blues? dont know really....

[Taz2]

I feel like that since my mum and dad died and all my uncles and aunties too. Christmas was always a time for visiting relatives and having a house full of them over the Christmas period. There was such excitement for my sons getting the extra beds ready and then waiting with their noses pressed up against the window for my mum and dad to finally arrive a couple of days before Christmas with all the goodies. I feel sad that those times are no longer here. Although I am not fussed about having grandchildren I bet Christmases are much more exciting when you have little ones running around.

I like the Boots advert this year as it seems to show much more normal homes and people than the normal ones with huge houses and well-off relatives turning up in their swish cars and lovely clothes.

Taz x

[Js]

Yes I am a bah humbug too .Only mine is because of the mother in law who we seem to have every year and do the same things I can predict what we will do and say . My son is 15 now so the surprise stuff isn't much of a surprise now although I will do him a stocking still . But I think I would rather be somewhere else and quite honestly be at work then endure another  Christmas having to please everyone else and listen to complaints about the dreaded Xmas dinner which is another  farce. Why does everyone  have to eat and drink things they don't every other time of the year and then regret it, I won't be I will try and enjoy it just eating normally that way I won't feel ill and bloated. We have a large family but half of them don't talk to each other so we can't get together .happy families !! Anyway hope I haven't depressed others but thought I would share

[honeybun]

I like Xmas...always have and hopefully always will. I loved it when my kids were small and all the excitement that went with the run up to Santa.

Now they are grown up...yes it has changed but I love buying them treats and seeing the enjoyment thay get from the things they are given.
The thing that spoiled my Xmas was having to cook dinner at my sisters house. Year after year. When my kids were little they came to us but then my kids got bigger and sis got grandchildren so we all went to her. I got totally sick of being stuck in her kitchen.
Three years ago this Xmas I dug in my heels and said no more. You would have thought the world as we knew it was coming to an end. It caused all sorts of grief. I stuck to my guns and have not done it since.
Xmas day for me now is bliss....visits to my mum (who chooses to spend Xmas with my sis) and then my sister to exchange gifts. Then home to enjoy my prezzies and a leisurely meal and a few glasses of wine.

I dont like Xmas shopping as I dont like crowds or queues at the moment  so I internet shop.

Easy peasy and so looking forward to some peaceful days over the festive season.

Honeyb
x

[CLKD]

I used to HATE it as for over 30 years WE did the traveling.  We had 3 years at home    .......

What I HATE most is the C/mas songs begin far too early, decorations are in the streets now  - week before C.mas would be plenty early enough, let people get their shopping done so that they can tyhen return to town to enjoy it all.

We have to travel again this year .......... it gets more and more difficult to find 'stuff' for others ........ it's those bloody songs that get to me the most 

[Oldteen]

I think Rowan and Jane have it right. Certainly I feel the passing of the year as my birthday is in early January so it emphasises that I'm getting older.

I don't have any stress or hassle to contend with; I only buy for my children, ( husband  and I haven't bothered exchanging presents for many years) my best friend and a lady at work who gives me lifts, and this year I've been inveigled into joining in the "secret Santa" nonsense at work, so it's not much really. I don't even send many cards! It will be just the four of us on Christmas Day, as it always has been since my parents died, and my husband cooks. I have never cooked a Christmas dinner in my life so what do I have to complain about?

Christmas Day is always pleasant enough and passes very quickly, then there's that awful dreary "limbo" time until New Year, then hooray! It's all over.

I don't know what it is, just that's something's missing. Maybe I'm just plain bored with it all. Maybe it will be different if we ever have grandchildren. I don't know.

[honeybun]

I have to say if my hubby did not get me something for Xmas I would smack him round the head.

He is great....not the most thoughtful of men at the best of times he really tries hard at Xmas to get me thoughtful treats.

We have always enjoyed surprise gifts at Xmas even before we had kids and I really would not want that to change.

Honeyb
x

[CLKD]

We would never not give each other gifts despite the fact that we do so year round.   Perhaps that's part of it, loving each other and letting that love spread out wards - however, it's when family expect us to do the 'same' thing year after year after and they don't attempt to alter the routine that we are all in ........

[English Rose]

Agree with you BOB - Christmas brings out the underlying sadness in me too and I always look forward to taking the decorations down and the fresh start in the New Year (altho' I'm not a New Years Eve fan either).   I have no choice but to conform at the moment, for family reasons, but I do as much shopping as I can online and try not to get too stressed. I think part of my problem is SAD syndrome/midwinter blues too.....I like to see the nights getting lighter again and Spring approaching. One year I'd love to go abroad for Xmas or maybe do something for a homeless charity (and one day, I will).  Best wishes, ER x

[Oldteen]

I'm glad I'm not the only one ER.

I'm not sure if I suffer from S.A.D. as  I quite like the long dark evenings ( though not the dark mornings) and  I get restless in the summer. I'm sometimes hit with mild depression in June too, which I cannot explain!

There's something missing in my life I think. I have a yearning for something, but I don't know what that something is.