My husband works 6 days a week, usually a minimum of 12 hrs. He drives a water tanker truck, and delivering water for cisterns, pool etc.. More often than not, he gets quite wet. Even is the summer, he can get chilled to the bone, because of air conditioning, but doesn't say a word when he comes home, and I have the air on so cold, you can almost see your breath. He'll grab a hot shower, and sit with a blanket on him, just so I can stay cool.
Driving in the car used to be hell. He'd turn the heat up, I'd lean in and turn it back down...he'd turn it up again, then I crack the window open, being the driver, and having electric windows, he'd close it....this would go on, and on the entire trip. After many arguments, he's finally understands that he can put on more clothing, blankets etc., and that I am down to the minimum, I can't take anything else off, he has given in. He even bought me an oscillating, stand up fan, to enhance the air conditioning, for when I can't cool down.
He see's me looking soaked and sad, and he will go out, and buy me a rose, or a sweet treat, or a lottery ticket, whatever he can think of to make me smile, and feel better,. Last year, he went out and bought me a beautiful, overstuffed recliner chair, to help me be more comfortable when the Fibromyalgia is acting up, and I am in pain.
On Sundays, his only day off, he takes me out to play bingo, or to the casino, and then a bite to eat. If I don't feel like going out, that's OK too. He'll go alone if need be, on his only day off, and do the groceries, and other errands that need doing. When I look at the way I treat him sometimes, it makes me so very sad. I think, if the roles were reversed and he treated me the way I've been treating him, I wouldn't live with him. Then I think I would. After all it took 25 years to make him into an understanding man..he didn't come that way LOL
I guess what I'm saying is, he is now considerate of my physical distress. He's still struggling with the mood swings, and the lack of sex, (he always says he misses the way I used to love him. But I still do love him, I wish he could get that through his head).
I know he's trying to be supportive. He goes to the OB/GYN with me, he sat with me for 14 hrs. last March, while waiting to get into surgery for a simple D&C. I was scared of the anesthetic, and he calmed my irrational thoughts. I was horrid to the nurses because of the long wait, he must have been embarassed, but said nothing, just held my hand.
There are so many more ways he's tried to be there for me. After 25 yrs., he still loves me, and spoils me whenever he gets the chance, and now that I've thought about it, I'm going to tell him when he gets home, how much I appreciate him, and how much I love him. He looks so handsome when he smiles, and this will make him smile.
There is one problem with it though, he'll think it's foreplay, and I may just had to grin and bear it:)...he's worth a bit of discomfort.
Sorry, i didn't mean to hog the spot light again. I just start typing, and all these feelings come rushing out. I guess I've been holding way too much inside.
I'm finished now. Thanks for the opportunity to talk once again.
Platte
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Topic: What's the best thing your partner has done to help you through the menopause? (Read 504981 times)