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[JJ]

I'm trying to be stronger this Xmas , I always think my children sense when I'm down and thinking of them  so this year and trying the stiff upper lip. (only in front of them though) my parents loved  Christmas , it's funny how all their traditions still firmly in place even though they not here. (I have insomnia , hubby snoring away) !

[bev couzens]

i lost my mum 17 years ago,i looked after her while she had cancer,then my dad died 3months later.i miss them so much.at least she saw me have my daughter.BEV.X

[JJ]

Bev, so sorry, its horrible not having your mum. My mum had been ill for many years with alzheimers, she was cared for at home by Dad and me and my sisters three weeks after her funeral dad was diagnosed terminally ill. (sometimes life has a habit of shooting you when you are already down) So like you, i understand.We shall make today a do something nice for yourself day ..........hmmmmm what?

[bev couzens]

THANYOU ,JJ ..BEV..XXX

[jax]

I have had 13 xmas days without mummsy...always have a tear for her after dinner.
got a photo of her at xmas dinner on show, will put her flowers with it on xmas day.
Hugs to you all who are missing people xxx

[2cats]

Sorry - it's mrs misery guts again!  Crying and crying and crying today- who knows why???  Husband is really hacking me off and I'm feeling very empty nesty.   Thought I'd accepted all that had changed for me, but suddenly feel really sad that my youngest (almost 12) doesn't seem bothered about spending much time with me anymore. I've loved taking my kids to places etc to show them stuff/have fun etc etc. That role seems over and it makes me cry just thinking about it.
I know it's all normal growing up stuff but I'm on a wobble again...
It's now 111 days since I had a period and symptoms seem to be increasing again.
Shame. 

[Bette]

Poor you, 2catsnat 
Have a 
Bette x

[JJ]

Hello 2 catsnat, your hormones are probably amplifying these thoughts, children all go through phases of not wanting to be around you as much, (its just not cool), once they are older and settle down it all changes again and they want to be with you, actually in the same room and actually chatting to you

We have a grandchild now and its fabulous, so you have lots and lots to look forward to. I think when we in peri/meno the chemical upheaval affects just about everything for some, and sometimes its difficult to think positivley. You having a bad day and it will pass. HORMONES

[wombat62]

Hi

Sorry to hear you are feeling down again.  All this memo stuff messes with your emotions no end!  Even though I never particularly wanted kids when the doc said that's it your post (after being on the pill for years) it was still a bit of an emotional moment as that was it, no choice now!

The last two weeks after the unexpected visitor has sent me into such a tizz, this week has been much worse because either I'm lacking that extra bit of oesteogen from the HRT or because of the stress any natural oesteogen has now been wiped out!  The other thread taking about the link between oesteogen and adrenal fatigue has been really interesting.

I've not slept well all week so that has made me tired so on Thurs went to pick up hubby and accidentally took off at the traffic lights when they were red, just saw the green filter light and took it for mine!  Got to the station, saw hubs and burst into tears!  Problem its a set of lights with a camera, so I don't know if it took my photo - can I plead menopausal!  Then yesterday we were setting up our expo when some 'elf and safety jobs worth wouldn't let me in as I had opened toed shoes on!  Had a bit of an argument then dropped a vase which smashed which then set me off again!  This is not like me at all! 

I'm hoping that if the hysterscopy thing is ok tomorrow then I will feel better but he said he may want to take some lining to test so that will be a few more days of worry!  I know he's being careful and they have to be thorough but it sure does get you worried!

If things are getting on top then can you find a few minutes a day to try and be calm and do a little meditation?  Not deep stuff but just take some deep breaths and relax.  Fortunately I live near the beach so when things get a bit much I go a just watch the waves for a bit.

Hope you feel a bit better soon

[2cats]

Thanks ladies for your kind words. Unfortunately things are no better today!  It's really worried me to have seemingly gone so far backwards after feeling so much better.  Having a pelvic scan on Friday, so after that I may consider HRT again.  Herbal stuff seemed to be working but something's gone awry. 
What a pain in the bum!  My face must look like a slapped backside when I'm at home!

[Bette]

 
Do let us know how if goes on Friday. A lot of ladies seem to find that herbal remedies work for a while but lose their effect. 
Bette x

[Dyan]

So sorry to hear you're not so good 2catsnat.
It's awful when this happens.I've been there a few times and had to change HRT to get me back on an even keel.
The empty nest syndrome is horrible.I was dreading my son going off to uni (18months ago).But he is better for it.I think it's done him good.
I love it when he comes home and hate to see him leave again.
It gets easier but I don't think you ever really let go.
I have 2 other children still at home but like you say they don't want to spend the time with you when they get to a certain age.In my case 13 & 17.
Hope the scan goes ok for you.
Let us know.
Hope you feel better soon.
Love Dyan X

[rebecca]

I have 2 daughters at Uni and I'm really sad when they go back, I tried my hardest not to blub but can't seem to have control over it, really wish I could give them a big hug and wave them off with a huge smile but never managed to do it. Feel like a real plonker for crying when I drive home...

Then they are back in the holidays and it is great to see them I get really excited at spending time with them, then as going back to Uni approaches this big black cloud comes over again. I'm at the point of trying to see who I could talk to about it to take charge of my feelings

Rebecca     

[Taz2]

Hi Rebecca - I have three sons and only one left at home now so I understand your feelings. Although you could see someone about it the answer lies within yourself. You need to fill the time they took up in your life with new things - new experiences, new hobbies or new friends. It isn't easy but I think that it's the only way forward. I don't know if you have a husband or partner? If so then this is the beginning of more time for you as a couple. Your daughters leave for Uni happily and confidently but they are only able to do that because of what you have instilled in them and because of what you have given them over the years. Motherhood is one of the few jobs where you know that if you have done it well then a lot of your job disappears!! There is a whole new "you" to seek out now.

p.s. It's eleven years since the first one left and four since the next one left and now I am ready for the last one to leave!

Taz x 

[2cats]

Well hallelujah my period arrived this morning after nearly 4 months with nothing at all!  I really hope that is why I've felt so low for a while???  But who knows....
Taz - it's so true that it's a time for us to get more time back for ourselves - and in the last few months I've started 2 new activities which I love and my husband and I enjoy having more time together but I still think it'll take a while for me to adjust to how things have changed.  But... I also know that accepting change as a natural part of life is the key to less stress and anxiety.  I'm working on it! 
Rebecca - our eldest daughter went back to Uni last week and we both cried, even though the way I'm feeling means that I was also relieved to get the house back to myself for some of the day.  It's all very confusing