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[Bette]

Back to the Bah Humbug theme.........
Sorry but need to off-load. I thought I was going to beat it but the gloom has descended.
Grotty week with a bad shoulder and had to cancel 2 days of valuable work (free-lance, self-employed.) Struggled in on Weds to see new guy being "tried out" for management role. Dreadful. Boss agreed to meeting as all workers so concerned. Said he would "listen to our views" but bottom line is that with the current climate blah, blah, the fact that this guy is thought highly of by the money men means.... well, you can guess the rest. Morale rock-bottom on Thurs as we contemplate at least 3 years of trying to keep standards up with this guy pulling us down. Would have been better if boss had said "Sorry, need to appoint him, that's it" but wasn't honest enough even to do that.
Black cloud had descended yesterday to decided to "do" something and went shopping. Need just two Xmas presents - for my elderly Mum and Auntie -  and all I can think about is the fact that once they've gone, Xmas really won't exist for me and how long will that be..........  Now poor Mum has got the yearly glums as she thinks about past Xmas's with her husband, son and grandson - all now gone. And because she's low, she's forgetting more and getting confused. IT'S NOT FAIR!!! 
Sorry Just needed to get that out of my system. Off soon to drop OH off at work and then planning to go round to Mum, be very cheerful and get her out for a couple of hours, which should help her. Life just sucks sometimes.
Bette x

[changesbabe]

Aw bette - so glad you found a space to offload. There will be loads of people along to support you through this I am sure. It's been a pretty tough week for you at a crap time of the year. Sounds like you have coped really well with it tho and now you have just collapsed into a wee heap. That's ok your body needs to do that to help you get through it. Try not to fight those horrible feelings too much - cry your tears, have a rant, punch a pillow or whatever you need to do and then these feeling will pass and your mood will return.

It's weird what our body does with grief - even tho your brain is telling you that you are ok at this time of year it's like your body still remembers the shock of the grief. Every sept my body does weird things - that's the month my mum died years ago and whilst I might not be a blubbering wreck anymore every sept my body never feels right.

Anyway bette sorry for rambling and I hope the above makes sense and does not offend. In short I want to say take care of yourself, these feeling will pass and lots of people here care about you.

I am doubting everything about myself just now - what I say, how I say it, does anyone give a crap blah blah blah. I am sure it is because I have had a three day migraine and heavy period this week. Heading up to aviemore today and couldn't give a crap right now - I will be fine in a day or two am sure.

And you are right bette at times life does suck! However the alternative feels worse so onwards we go. Have a wee hug from me. Xxx

[Bette]

Thank you, h&s - that really does help. 
What doesn't help is that my browser seems to have refreshed or something - all smilies now have those stupid Xmas hats on!! Bah Humbug! 
Bette x

[purplenanny]

Oh Bette, I am so sorry to hear of your troubles. It is good to 'unload' and the ladies here are extremely good listeners - as you are yourself.
I know how it feels to have a new boss. I worked for my sister for 25 years , helping to build her business, giving all hours under the sun. She then decided (without telling) to sell up and move on. The new owner was horrendous - used me for my knowledge, then made life hell so I would leave.
This probably doesn't help but I what I am trying to say is sometimes life throws s..t at us , but it makes us stronger people.
Xmas can be an awful time for some and your Mum must find it hard - and then this reflects on your happiness. She is lucky to have a caring daughter. Keep your chin up Bette and be comforted by the fact that festivities will soon be gone and we can all start a new fresh year, which will hopefully include happy days.
best wishes to you Bette, keep strong.
Love Purplenanny x x

[purplenanny]

Morwena - do really consider cutting your hours. I stuck with this awful new owner of my sisters company for 18 months hell, frightened to leave beacause of the money. I finally had no choice as I was nearing a breakdown and it was such a relief not to have to face him anymore , the money became insignificant.
I am not saying it is easy, especially at this time of year with extra expense, but I am so much happier and content and yes, at our time of life we should be thinking of ourselves..
I agree with you re comparing with HRt - you hit the nail on the head. We get one life and have to make the most of today.
Go for it Morwena, you will not look back.
Purplenanny x x

[Jenny50]

This is such a hard time of year with all that enforced jollity coming out of the TV and radio.  There's no escaping it and it can just make your problems seem worse.  So many people are in the same boat of just going through the motions at Christmas and it's good that we can come here to vent sometimes.

So sorry, Bette.  Wouldn't it be great if management really did what they're supposed to do and helped to make life at work easier?  I know you were the first on here to welcome me when I plucked up the courage to join in after lurking for a while so you know you'll never be short of support from all us ladies you've helped along the way.  Hope you and your lovely Mum soon feel a little brighter.  Very soon now the evenings start to draw out again so we'll get a bit more daylight back.

Hugs,

Jenny X

[Joyce]

Bette, wouldn't we be so much better off without management?  I'm glad I no longer work as the management at the last place I worked has gone for bad, to worse, to worst!  I still keep in touch with some of the folk I worked with and hear all their woes.  Christmas time brings out the worst in some folk.  I have every sympathy.

[Bette]

Thanks everyone. The work thing is difficult as I love it and if I'm honest, really hate doing as little as I do now (there just isn't any more around) so cutting down is the last thing I want. Finances aren't an issue for us but we both love what we do - I know, count your blessings, Bette! I'm probably finding it harder simply because of the time of year.
Took Mum out - the Xmas market wasn't there!!!!!!! Typical! Anyway, managed to get her a few things she wanted and did a few chores for her so that was something. She knows I feel down too, so we just agree to get through it and look forward to the end of the month.
Sorry - can't bring myself to use the Xmas smilies. 
Bette x

[purplenanny]

Bless you Bette, it is good you can both share each others emotions and be a comfort to one another.
You will soon feel better about things and hopefully your work will pick up.
Keep chin up my lovely
Purplenanny x x

[Oldteen]

For Bette:

I hate all that "family jollity". I've enjoyed Christmas less and less since I lost my parents as at least there were times when they could come to us, then just my mum would come after my dad died. I hate it when people ask me what we're doing for Christmas, and I have to say, "Well, I don't have much family to speak of now, my in-laws won't come to us nor invite us, so it'll just be us and our two kids as usual."

I suppose I feel saddest for my kids - how can you have a family get-together when there is no-one to get together?

[san]

Seems strange now me and OH are the 'older ones' as in grandparents. Our chance to try and do what my parents did when our family was young.

[Jenny50]

You've got a tight family unit, Batty, so don't do yourselves down.  How many big gatherings are full of people who secretly (or not) can hardly stand each other?  Our set up is very small and I'm sick of the number of people who say, "Oh, there'll be 15 of us," when they ask what we're doing for Christmas.  Some friends, eh?  Have a cosy small get together, you never know what may be round the corner. One girl I worked with years ago said her FIL was so drunk by lunchtime he passed out face down on his plate and had to be pulled up out of it.  Imagine that at Christmas.

Jenny X

[Pennyfarthing]

My DH was working at somebody's house recently and mentioned a family they both know.  They used to live near us and bought a much large house about 20 miles away and always seem really happy and living a good life.

The householder said "you must be joking."    He was invited there for lunch last Xmas Day and they had their children and small grandchildren there as well as partners and a couple of aunties and friends.  The whole house and gardens were beautifully decorated and the lunch table was best cutlery, flower arrangements, cut glass etc.  No expense spared.

The father of one of the children was invited and the houseowner (Grandad) didn't like a comment he made just as they all sat down to eat.  The Grandad  just stood up, ripped the table cloth straight off, then tipped the whole table over (which sat about 14 people) food & drink everywhere, kids screaming, people running for cover etc.  Can you imagine? 

It might seem like everybody else is having a better time than you, but it isn't always the case!  Happy Christmas

[viv]

Bette

Your mum is a little older than mine (only just).

One day at a time...never any further than that. You know I have issues with my family but I also love my mum even though she drives me mad. I dont look into the future, I do it one day etc etc.

Your close family is you and your hubby...just you and him and from what you have said he is a real gem. Things in the future will no doubt be different for both of us...but we do what we do...enjoy it while you can and then thank our lucky stars that we both have our mums at the great age that they have achieved.

A          from me to you.

Onwards and upwards

Honeyb
x

[purplenanny]

I lost my Mum when I was 16, I would love to have her here now. She has missed so much of my life.
Treasure every day Bette.

Purplenanny x x