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Absolutely demented

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Ziggy:
Hi Everyone
I am so glad I have found this community. I am 53 years old and apart from hot flushes and terrible brain fog, i seemed to have an "easy" menopause.....until now. Iam on haemodialysis and about 8 weeks ago, I had UTI symptoms. Recieved antibiotics but no infection was detected.I discreetly mentioned it to one of the dialysis nurses, who then announced in a loud voice, so at least 20 other patients could hear...how am I suppose to know why the antibiotics haven't worked. I was mortified. I then confided in an other nurse, who just looked at me, as if I had grown 2 heads. I felt so embarrassed that I suffered in silence for the next few weeks. I googled everything..convinced I had cystitis etc..then I eventually spoke to a GP. She said it was my age and probably  Vaginal Atrophy. I have to admit I wasn't convinced. I then started googling and then realised she was right. I started taking Gina as I couldn't get a Dr's appointment. On Tuesday I was eventually prescribed Estriol. What I want to know, is how do people cope with this condition??? I am absolutely demented. It is taking over my life. I am urinating about 20 times a day. It is like acid. I go to the toilet and then I'm back about 5 mins later. I then have urethra pain, that I can only describe as thousands of tiny needles stabbing me. I am not sleeping. I am constantly stressed at work, worrying about having an "attack"...then I have to contend with dialysis. I have to sit for 4 hours attached to a machine. I am allowed on toilet break and usually have to argue with a nurse, who wants me to use a commode. I feel.as if I'm the only woman I know, that is suffering from this. I now look at everyone and think, do they have this, if they do..how are they managing. I have spoken to a couple of friends but they have never had any issues. My husband has been great but I feel so frustrated that nobody knows the pain and discomfort this is causing me. It is literally taking over my life. Compared to this, kidney failure is a walk in the park. In the past when i heard the term..vaginal dryness, I just thought add a bit of lube and you would be fine. I never realised how traumatising this condition is. It disgusts me when I read about other women's experiences and how they are dismissed by the medical professionals. Sorry for my long rant but after another sleepless night, I am losing the will to live. Wishing everyone a good pain free day 🙂

Ayesha:
Its good to have a rant and you have certainly come to the right place, so many of us on here have been exactly where you are today but we have come through it thanks to the treatments available. Here is a link that I know you will find helpful and educational.

https://www.menopausematters.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,64837.msg895647.html#msg895647

Ziggy:
Thank you for the reassurance Ayesha. I have read all the forums regarding Vaginal Atrophy. If I am being honest, it is only reading personal accounts from ladies, like yourself, that's keeping me going! It was the same with my kidney failure. I felt I was the only one going through this and felt so alone. It was only when I joined community forums that I felt I had found my "safe place". I know it will get better. However every day is a challenge. I know I am one of the lucky ones as I have a diagnosis quite early. It angers me to read about other women's experiences. Thanks again x

aj1971:
Ziggy, I experienced this to a lesser extent in my forties (now same age as you). I understand how debilitating it can be. Vagifem (same as Gina) worked well after a longer 'loading dose' period - 6 weeks - then dropped down to 2/3 times per week. I don't know if you also use systemic HRT, e.g. patches or oestrogel with progesterone (if you have a womb to protect)? It seems some women need both to bring things back to normal. But ideally you want some advice from a menopause specialist or switched-on GP who really understands what can be done to help. For example, I don't know if you can double up on Vagifem for a while, until things settle. There used to be a higher dosage available. Hope you soon find you get your life back. x

Jules:
Ziggy I get urethra pain but not as bad as that because I'm using topical estrogen.  It has started recently despite being on treatment.  Sometimes it's like a itching feeling just in the opening,  other times tenderness. I've had to increase the frequency of my vaginal pessaries (vagifem) to every night and use estriol cream externally morning and night mixed with Yes moisturiser. The vagifem has had a more noticeable impact. I'm still getting the sensation in my urethra but not bad, I think I'm so worried I'm focusing on it too much. I used to get the UTIs too until I started using vagifem The topical estrogen though I'm sure  will help. You've to persevere and get a routine going. I wish I'd known early and started then. It would have stopped the deterioration I've had. Try to get the treatment and get going on it, pop some estriol cream around the opening. Hopefully you'll feel better soon.  There was a time when I was focused on my other health issues, even my aging face. Now all I think about is what's going on in my knickers!!

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