Menopause Discussion > Other Health Discussion

UPDATE: Effects of Depression

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Scampi:
I have so much admiration for those of you who cope day-to-day with real depression.  I'm going through the mill at the moment (my dad is terminally ill and deteriorting daily, my mum has uncontrolled Parkinsons and struggles to move unaided, so I worry how she will cope once Dad is no longer around, and I have a chronic auto-immune disorder which causes pain and inflammation, made worse by stress, of course!) and some of my friends have said I should talk to my GP for some help to 'get through' - but I don't want ADs as I KNOW I'm not depressed - I'm just sad.  Deeply and sometimes debilitatingly sad, but not depressed.  No amount of 'chemical rebalancing' is going to change the fact my wonderful Dad is dying, and until I've crossed that bridge I will be sad  :'(

CLKD:
Do you need to get the various agencies in place now, so that you can hand over a certain amount of responsibility whilst you go through the grieving process?  Have a word with the Parkinsons' Society etc., Macmillan also have a good web-site for advice.  That way you can deal with your feelings without being pressurised into coping with your Mum. 

changesbabe:
Aw scampi my heart goes out to you. It is so difficult to watch someone you love disappear before your eyes. I nursed my father in law for a year and a half whilst still working. I supported my hubby and kids through their grieving process whilst finding a place fir my own. My gp was adamant I was depressed but no I did not believe it. How else are you meant to feel at a time like this? To me my feelings were how they should have been given what I was coping with. When he died I wanted signed off work for a month just to gather myself again. My gp said 'will I put depressed on your sick line?' I was furious at him and basically said 'can you not put bereaved because that is what I am!'

Take care of yourself whilst you get through this difficult time. Keep posting so you can get some support for yourself. Xxxx

Scampi:
There's quite a lot of agencies involved already - Social Services, our local hospice (who are wonderful), district nurses, Parkinsons' nurse ... I think Mum will cope once all the stress and grief is over and she's had chance to sort herself out - they live in a bunglow with complete level access and a full wet-room, so she can actually manage at home quite well.  But at the moment she's struggling, and I do worry about her social life once she is on her own - Mum and Dad have always done things together, Dad was the driver and many of their friends live some distance away.  I'm sure it will all settle down and sort itself out, but for now I worry.

Thank you so much for your kind words H&S - you have no idea how much of a help it is to hear someone else express EXACTLY how I feel.  I'm not depressed - I'm grieving (eventhough Dad is still with us).  It's good to know I'm not alone in feeling this way.

Suzi Q:
Big hugs to everyone who has or is suffering from depression
Or who has a family member or pal
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*

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